


The Price Of Free Will

by CaithyCat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Domestic, F/M, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Parenthood, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-19 03:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29619960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaithyCat/pseuds/CaithyCat
Summary: One year after they defeated Chuck, Dean and Sam's life has become somewhat normal. Somewhat. Until, one day, out of the blue, after a year of no contact, Jack shows up at the bunker.Or,Jack takes back the childhood he lost, Dean has some feelings to examine, Sam has decisions to make, and Castiel is just trying to be useful to everyone.
Relationships: Castiel & Jack Kline, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Jack Kline & Dean Winchester, Jack Kline & Sam Winchester
Comments: 22
Kudos: 69





	1. Prologue: One Year Later

**Author's Note:**

> Three months later and the show hasn't left me alone. I still have so many questions that have been left unanswered, so I decided to create those answers, myself. 
> 
> This story occurs after 15x19 and is mostly fluff with some angst and lots of domesticity. 
> 
> But, in short, we will see Jack take back the childhood he lost, Dean has some feelings to examine, Sam has decisions to make, and Castiel is just trying to be useful to everyone.

When Sam woke up precisely at 5:30 that morning, he expected another routine day. He got up, stretched, check his phone and other phone for messages, got dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, and made his way down the hall, stretching his arms up as high as they could go along the way. As he passed by Dean’s room, he noticed the door slightly ajar. Unable to help himself, he peeked in.

Dean was sprawled on his bed on top of the covers, mouth ajar with drool dripping out of one side, and surrounded by empty beer bottles.

Sam felt a spike of irritation. He just bought that case two days ago. At this rate, his brother’s water weight would be 90% beer and 10% water. He knew that the last year hadn’t been easy for Dean but it wasn’t easy for Sam, either. But, you don’t see him drowning his sorrows in cheap alcohol.

Shaking his head, Sam pushed the door open and loudly proclaimed, “Dean, seriously?”

His brother’s sleeping form twitched, followed by a soft pained groan.

Instantly, Sam felt guilty for waking him up like this. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself,” he said, much more gently this time.

Dean mumbled something that sounded like, “Leave me alone, Sammy” before turning on to his stomach. He was snoring again in seconds.

Sam felt himself sighing as he pulled the covers from under Dean and tucked him in. He patted him on the back, hoping to give him some form of comfort, even if he wasn't conscious for it. Then, he left the room, shut the door behind him, and made his way out of the bunker for his morning run. 

There was always something about seeing the early morning sunrise that made Sam a little emotional.

Maybe it was all the close calls with death. Living to see another sunrise is a blessing to every hunter, but apparently, for a Winchester, it was practically a miracle.

The nearest park to the bunker had the best view of the sunrise and sunset. So, naturally, Sam picked that as the place to be whenever he was out running.

Slowing down to a walk, Sam kept his gaze on the rising sun over the horizon and began to pray. He didn’t know if anyone up there was still listening but it didn’t hurt to try.

_Hey, Jack. How are you doing up there, kid? I hope you’re alright. We’re all pretty okay down here._

He paused, suddenly thinking about Dean because truth be told, Dean was not okay. He was far from okay. But, Jack had a lot more important things to take care of than worry about them. So, he refrained from talking about Dean. 

_We miss you,_ he finished his prayer. _Take care._

With that last thought, he took off again and made his way back home.

He could smell the eggs and bacon before he even made it to the bottom of the stairs. So, at least Dean had gotten up on time. Sam could even hear him cooing at Miracle, telling the dog what a good boy he was.

“Soup’s on, Sammy!” Dean barked when he saw him at the door. “We got eggs and bacon and that turkey bacon shit you like. You want waffles, too?”

Sam rolled his eyes as he sat down at the table. “I’m fine, Dean.”

“Uh huh.”

A plate filled to the brim with waffles joined the eggs and bacon, anyway.

If Sam didn’t know any better, he’d think Dean was trying to clog up his arteries so he would die an early death. At least that would be a more natural way to go compared to any of their previous deaths. And the notion that they had more than one death experience was pretty weird and crazy. Their life in the past year had been, for the most part, quiet and normal. But, who knew how long that was gonna last?

As usual, they didn't talk about Dean's night. They never did because if Sam even uttered a word, Dean would shut down. He'd assure him he was fine, that no, he wasn't an alcoholic, what are you talking about, Sammy, he was just enjoying their brand spanking new life of freedom and free will. It was what they fought and suffered and lost people for. Why shouldn't Dean enjoy it? Lighten up, Rapunzel!

A creaking sound that could only be the bunker door opening made Sam pause, turkey bacon halfway to his mouth. Across from him, Dean also froze, his eyes moving to the doorway. Someone was in the bunker. And seeing as no other hunter had made a call to let them know they were stopping by, what they had was an intruder. 

Perhaps, Sam had spoken too soon.

Quietly, the older Winchester stood up, headed for the kitchen counters, and snagged two knives. Sam followed behind him, taking the second knife Dean wordlessly offered.

“Stay,” his brother whispered to Miracle, who let out a soft whine but stayed in his spot under the table. 

Together, the two men tiptoed out of the kitchen, down the hall, and into the war room. They spotted jean-clad legs making their way down the stairs. Sam tightened his grip on the knife, getting ready to pounce.

But, when the figure showed itself in full, Sam felt his mouth fall open in shock.

“Hello.”

That broke Sam out of his stupor. “Jack!” he exclaimed, dropping the knife and rushing over to the kid.

Their kid.

Who was now God.

Man, their life was weird.

With an overjoyed laugh, Sam pulled Jack into a hug. The kid returned it, gripping Sam, tightly.

“I missed you, guys,” he whispered.

“We missed you, too.” Sam pulled away and stepped back, taking a few seconds to look at him.

Jack looked more or less the same as they saw him last, a year ago. Same tousled dark blonde hair, same white jacket and light blue jeans that Sam remembered getting for him at Walmart, and the same shy, innocent smile that reminded everyone about how young he actually was despite his physical appearance.

Dean took that moment to give Jack his own hug, patting his back in that fond way he does before letting him go.

“You look good, kid.”

“You, too, Dean.”

“What are you doing here?”

Jack appeared to not hear. Instead, he looked in the direction of the kitchen, subtly sniffing the air.

“Something smells good. Are those waffles?”

Sam laughed, shaking his head. “Come on. Have breakfast with us. You can tell us what’s been up with you in the past year.”

He picked up his knife and together with Dean, they led Jack into the kitchen where the food still waited for them.

With Jack sitting across from him and Dean, it felt like nothing had changed in the past year at all, except for the dog sitting at Jack’s feet and the empty space where the fourth member of Team Free Will 2.0 usually sat.

The two of them watched as Jack dug into his waffles, eagerly. He had smothered them in maple syrup and powdered sugar. Normally, Sam would say something about his teeth rotting. Jack had an uncontrollable sweet tooth (which kind of reminded him of Gabriel but, then again, the two _were_ related).

Jack looked so happy that Sam couldn’t bring himself to say anything and just let him enjoy it.

“So, kid, not that we’re not happy to see you,” Dean began. “But... uh... why are you back here?”

Jack’s pleasant chewing slowed down. He was avoiding their eyes. 

“Is something wrong?” Sam couldn’t help but ask. Something always went wrong. Jack was acting too shifty for nothing to be wrong. “Is it Heaven? Is there trouble?”

Jack didn’t answer. Instead, he swallowed, first, before taking a long drink of his orange juice.

His silence only worried Sam more.

If Jack was here, then who was running Heaven?

Now that Sam thought about it, were there even enough angels left to help Jack with things?

“Kid, if there’s something up, we need to know about it,” Dean said, serious for the first time all morning. “No more secrets and no more surprises, got it? We need to know what we’re up against.”

“Nothing’s up,” Jack finally answered, though he couldn’t look them in the eye. “Can’t I just come for a social visit?”

“A year ago, when we asked you if we were ever gonna see you again, you said you were gonna be in the trees and the waters and all that bullshit. What’s up with that now?”

“Jack,” Sam took over, a bit more gently. “We just need you to tell us the truth. Why are you really here?”

Jack swallowed and mumbled something Sam couldn’t decipher.

“Speak up,” Dean growled, his patience clearly wearing thin.

Sam wanted to glare at him but he couldn't take his eyes off the boy. 

“I…” Jack mumbled again.

“Jack, just tell us, please,” Sam pleaded.

“I... I ran away!”


	2. Chapter 1: The Return

“I ran away!”

“What?!” Dean sits up, unable to believe his ears. “You did what?”

Jack seemed to shrink into himself. “I… I ran away.”

“You ran away,” repeated Dean.

“Yes.”

“From Heaven.”

“Y-Yes…”

Jack ran away from Heaven. God ran away from Heaven. The last time that happened, Dean’s life went to shit. And it was happening all over again. What was up with Heaven’s royal family and running away from their responsibilities?! They were worse than Prince Harry and Meghan Markle! At least those two weren’t next in line to rule when the Queen kicks the bucket. (Don’t ask Dean how he knew all this. They had a lot of free time lately, okay?!)

Sam placed a placating hand on Dean’s arm before addressing the boy. “Jack, when you say you ran away… you left Heaven? Without permission?”

Did the kid even need permission to leave Heaven? He practically ruled the Earth and cosmos!

Jack ran a nervous hand through his hair. “I just… I need a break.”

Dean stared, brow furrowed. “A break.”

“Yes.”

“What, Heaven doesn’t give you PTOs or something?”

“Something like that.”

“What the hell-.”

“Dean!” Sam interrupted, flashing him a glare. “Can you stop the interrogation for five seconds?” Without waiting for an answer, he turned back to Jack. “How long are you staying for?”

“Um, I don’t know.” Jack’s fingers played with the end of his fork, his waffle now a sad mess as it drowned in sugar and syrup. “I didn’t really think this far ahead. It was sort of… out of the blue.”

Great. Wonderful. Everything was just peachy.

With a huff, Dean got to his feet. “Alright, fine. Whatever. Finish your breakfast.” He grabbed two pieces of bacon and angrily stuffed them in his mouth as he left the kitchen.

Behind him, he could hear Sam reassuring Jack that he could stay as long as he liked. Where else would he even go? It wasn’t like the kid had other friends or family to stay with.

That thought stirred a prickle of guilt in Dean.

He and Sam were all Jack had. Them and…

Dean closed his eyes, emptying his mind of any thoughts – past, present, or future. Especially the past.

When his head was all good and clear, he continued on his way, furiously chewing the bacon still in his mouth. Now that they had another mouth to feed, he would have to do an inventory on their supplies. And get a box of nougat the next time they head out. They were fresh out.

Pushing open the door of Jack’s old room, Dean took a moment to look around. They hadn’t gone back in this room for a whole year. The mattress was probably dusty, as well as the furniture. It would need some cleaning, vacuuming, and fresh sheets before Jack could settle in. Some of his old stuff were in storage – Jack’s clothes, laptop, books, that creepy talking teddy bear, and Kelly’s picture. Maybe Dean could send Sam down to get them while he cleaned up.

“Dean.”

Speaking of…

Dean entered the room, going straight for the bed. “We gotta clean this place up, Sammy,” he stated, brushing a finger across the side table and grimacing at how much dust accumulated on the digit. “Send the kid out to walk Miracle or something. Can you grab his stuff from storage?”

“Dean.”

He turned around to finally look at his brother, who was giving him a wary look. “What?”

Sam sighed. “You okay?”

Dean shrugged. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just seem… irritated.”

“I’m not… irritated. Okay, maybe a little annoyed ‘cause he popped in here with no warning but it’s not like he has anywhere else to go. Besides, he’s still our kid.”

The familiar feelings of warmth and fondness suddenly flooded him, just like that moment he saw Jack walk down those stairs after a year of not hearing from him. Their kid was home, again.

Shit. Was this what parents who had kids in college felt like?!

“So… you’re okay with this?” Sam asked. “You’re not worried about… I don’t know… Repercussions from Heaven? He _ran away_ , Dean.”

Dean sighed. “Yeah, Sam, I am worried. Okay? We’re allowed to be. We raised that kid. But, what can we do? We can’t just kick him out. So, we face the problem, head-on. Like we always do.”

His brother smiled, looking relieved. Did Sam really think Dean was gonna send Jack packing?! Thanks for the vote of confidence, bro.

“Okay, good,” Sam said with a nod. “I’ll go get his stuff, then. You gonna clean up here?”

“Yeah. Send him out with Miracle if he’s done eating.”

“Okay.”

With that, Sam headed out.

Dean turned back to the room and, with a determined huff, he got to work.

He rummaged through their supply closet to grab a broom, feather duster, some rags, and a box of trash bags. He tied a handkerchief over his nose and mouth and beat the dust out of the mattress with the broom. Then, he cleaned the side tables and the desk, the dust and dirt caking all the rags and creating a mountain of filth on the floor. He was in the middle of gathering these into a trash bag when Jack wandered into the room.

He looked around his old room, cautious.

Dean pulled the handkerchief down to his chin. “Hey, kid, back so soon?”

Jack looked confused. “Um, I didn’t leave.”

“Didn’t Sam send you out with Miracle?”

“Oh… I thought it was just a suggestion.” Jack scuffed his sneakers against the floor, like a berated child. “I don’t really want to go out right now.”

Right. He ran away and was probably hiding from the angels.

“Alright,” Dean acquiesced. “Well, if you’re not gonna take the dog out for a walk, why don’t you head on over to the Dean Cave and watch a movie, hmm? They added new stuff on Netflix. And that show you like… Juliet and something…”

“Julie and the Phantoms?”

“Yeah, that. Heard they added a new season. You can watch that.”

“Oh. Okay. Thank you.”

Jack didn’t move. In fact, he continued to stare at Dean with that sad puppy dog face that made the parental instincts in him rear its head.

“What?”

“Are you angry?”

“Why would I be angry?”

“You… seemed angry earlier.”

“I’m not angry. I’m annoyed. The idea of you being a runaway doesn’t exactly appeal. You were in Heaven. You were supposed to be in good hands.”

“I was! I just…” Jack hesitated again, as if he wasn’t sure exactly what to say.

And, normally, Dean would push. He was tired of secrets and surprises. He wished Jack would just tell them why the hell he left Heaven all of a sudden. If he wasn’t being abused up there and there wasn’t a great flood coming to wipe them and all of humanity away, why was he here?

Dean sighed. “Look, just take it easy, okay? Go to the Dean Cave or don’t, do whatever you want. This is your home, too. Just let me and Sam fix your room up so you can hole up in here when you want.”

“I can help-."

“It’s fine, Jack. Okay? Just… go do something else.”

The kid finally nodded, looking defeated. “I’m sorry, Dean.”

“Nothing to be sorry for. This place is a mess. We’ll get it ready in a few hours.”

“That’s not what I’m sorry for.”

Before Dean could even ask, Jack turned on his heels and left the room.

The hunter stood there, dumbstruck, wondering what the hell just happened. He would have stood there for hours like that if Sam hadn't come in, a box in one hand and a suitcase in the other.

“I saw Jack come out of here. Everything okay?”

Dean broke out of his stupor. Shrugging, he turned back to stuffing dirty rags into the trash bag.

“Just told him to hang out in the Dean Cave while we set up his room. Got his stuff?”

“Yeah, they were a bitch to find. We really need to organize that room, you know. Maybe throw some stuff out we don’t need? I swear, those Men of Letters were hoarders. They’re even worse than you, Dean.”

The older Winchester simply hummed in response.

“You should check the wards. Make sure we don’t get any dicks with feathers coming around while Jack’s here.”

“The wards?”

“If Jack ran away, how much until those angels will realize he’s gone and will try to track him down? He’s their leader now, of course they’re gonna want him back. They waited a millennium before they realized Chuck took off. They ain’t gonna wait another millennium this time. You want them storming in here to drag our kid back, kicking and screaming?”

It seemed like that thought didn’t occur to Sam. He looked worried now.

Nodding, he put the box of Jack’s things and the suitcase down before heading out of the room.

Dean closed his eyes, feeling a headache coming along.

They got their work cut out for them.

* * *

Dean’s prediction was pretty spot on. Aside from meals and the occasional run-ins in the bathroom, the brothers barely saw Jack in the next two days. The boy holed up in his room, doing God (Jack?) knows what. Sometimes, though, Miracle would nose at his door and whine until Jack opened the door to let him in.

That was another thing. Miracle took to Jack like a fish to water. He _adored_ Jack and Jack seemed to return the sentiment. Sometimes, when Dean passed by Jack’s room, he could hear Jack talking to the dog, having an actual conversation with him. It was endearingly cute, if not a bit odd. But, then again, Jack had always been an odd duck. He got it from his dad (not Lucifer).

Dean and Sam tried to push the boy to talk but every time they tried, he would immediately excuse himself and go back to his room, not answering their questions. It was worrying behavior, to be honest. Despite Jack's reassurances that nothing was wrong, they couldn't help but think that _something was wrong_.

It was on the third day that Dean was absolutely caught off-guard.

He was in the war room, looking up the history of a town in Wisconsin for a hunter who was doing a salt and burn of a poltergeist wreaking havoc in an old church. They’ve been doing that more lately – providing information and posing as government heads for hunters all over the country. (Sam was thinking about setting up a network, but he was still working on the details.)

The hunter was a friend of Jody’s, completely new to the profession but eager to be part of it after almost losing his sister to a vampire. Jody and the girls had assisted and, ever since, he couldn’t help but be drawn to the life. Dean understood. It was difficult to turn a blind eye to the supernatural once you’ve seen some horror shit. When the hunter got stuck on figuring out what was wrong, Jody had sent him the Winchester’s way and Dean was only too happy to help, just for a bit of a distraction from this whole Jack situation.

Dean had just e-mailed him all the information, with a note to let them know if he needed backup, when a series of bangs shook the bunker, startling him. Like clockwork, his hunter's instincts took over. 

Sam had double-checked the wards three days ago, so whatever was outside was obviously something they were trying to keep out.

Dean looked up at the door, daring it to open. It didn’t but another series of bangs shook the walls.

Damnit, why didn’t he keep his gun close?

He heard quick footsteps echoing from the hall and in just a minute, Sam appeared, Jack trailing along behind him.

“What the hell is that?!” his brother gasped, gun already in hand.

Dean held out his hand in a silent request for Sam to hand his gun over to him. Sam tossed it to him and then retrieved a knife from his back pocket.

Taking a deep breath, Dean headed up the stairs, his heart pounding with adrenaline. Whatever was on the other side of those steel doors, he was ready to shoot it. He could feel Sam following behind him, armed with his knife. He signaled for Jack to stay where he was as their last backup, just in case.

The bangs continued as Dean finally made it to the door.

He released the safety on the gun before bellowing, “Who the hell are you?!”

The bangs stopped. Dean held his breath in the following silence.

Then… an unexpected, yet familiar, voice.

“It’s me.”

It felt like a horse had kicked Dean in the chest. Everything suddenly hurt. 

This was a trick. It had to be a trick. It had been a year. He was dead.

It happened before. Being tricked into opening the door. He couldn’t do it again. He couldn’t get his hopes up and have them crushed in front of him.

“Don’t use his voice to trick us, you bastard! I’ll rip your throat out!”

Another bout of silence. Dean was ready to rip the door open and shoot the son of a bitch.

“It’s really me. Please open the door. I’m looking for Jack.”

That settled it.

Dean turned the knob and pushed the door open. His finger had already squeezed the trigger before his eyes and his brain fully took in the figure in front of him. Luckily, iron bullets never had an effect on angels.

Sensible shoes. Pressed black slacks. A crisp white button-down. Professional blue tie. Matching black suit jacket. Ugly beige trench coat. Tousled black hair. Brilliant blue eyes. All topped by an uncertain look.

The crooked smile flashed at him struck him dumb on the spot, unable to move or think coherently. “Hello, Dean.”

The hunter swallowed the uncomfortable lump in his throat. “C-Cas…”

* * *

Castiel wanted to wrap his arms around Dean Winchester and not let go. He wanted to tell him he was sorry, that he missed him, that he hoped Dean forgave him. The only things stopping him were the memories of their last encounter and the invisible force that forbid him from taking another step.

So, instead, he forced his longings away and focused on the task at hand.

“Is Jack here?”

That seemed to break Dean out of the stupor he was in. He looked at Castiel with an incredulous look before laughing. But, there was no humor in it. Having known Dean for thirteen years, Castiel could pinpoint every twitch and tell in every muscle.

Dean was unhappy. He was angry.

“Is Jack here?” Dean repeated, unamused as he lowered his gun. “No ‘Hi, hello, how are you? Sorry you thought I was dead but I’m actually alive’? What the hell, Cas?!”

“I… I know I have plenty to explain.”

Quite a ton, in fact. It had been a year, after all.

“But, first, I need to know if Jack is here. Is he safe?”

“He’s here,” Sam said from behind Dean, his knife at his side. He was looking at Castiel like he could see all three of his true form’s heads. “He arrived three days ago. What the hell is going on, Cas?! We thought you were dead! Why did Jack run away?!”

Castiel felt relief flood through him. “I’m glad to hear that. Do you mind weakening the wards so I can enter? Please.”

As if just realizing that there was a reason Castiel hadn’t entered yet, Sam shuffled off to, presumably, take care of the wards. Unfortunately, this left him at an awkward standoff with Dean, who was still glaring at him. Castiel guiltily shuffled on his feet.

“How are you, Dean?” he managed to ask.

Dean’s glare intensified. “Peachy,” he spat.

By now, Castiel was aware that it was sarcasm. So, he simply hung his head and waited for the wards to go down.

After what felt like eons of being stared down by an angry hunter, Castiel felt the force holding him back weaken until it completely faded. He was free to enter. Still avoiding Dean’s eyes, he pushed past him and loudly made his way down the stairs.

“Jack?” he called out.

“Cas.”

There he was, waiting with a guilty look on his face. At least he knew he had done wrong when he left Heaven with no warning.

Castiel didn’t stop until he had Jack wrapped tightly in his arms. He felt the boy return the hug, not quite as tight.

“I’m so glad you’re alright,” Castiel murmured.

“I’m fine, I promise,” Jack replied.

Castiel released him, leaving his hands on the boy’s shoulders while flashing him a stern gaze. “Why did you leave?! Do you know how worried we all were?! Your mother was frantic!”

Jack’s brow furrowed. “I left her a note.”

“Yes, well, a note that says, ‘I have to go. I’m sorry’ doesn’t exactly do much to assuage the panic your mother felt when you didn’t show up for dinner. Jack, you can't just leave without telling anyone where you are. Things are still delicate in Heaven, you know that. If this gets out to the other angels, we don’t know how they’ll react.”

Jack’s lips quivered in shame. “I’m sorry.”

Castiel let out a breath and patted his shoulder. “It’s alright. Come on, then. Let’s go home.”

“Hold on just a second there, hot wings. You ain’t leaving 'til you explain everything.”

Castiel resisted the urge to groan but he did close his eyes to take in a calming breath. He could always feel his resolve weakening when Dean was involved, and a year apart hadn’t changed that. It was a risk coming here, in the first place, but only a very select group in Heaven knew that Jack had left. It was his mission to return him.

He opened his eyes and turned to face the brothers.

“Jack has been missing from Heaven for three days. The archangels are covering it up but I need to bring him back.”

“Wait, hold up. The archangels? They’re back?” Sam asked, eyes wide. “All of them?”

“No, not Lucifer,” Castiel replied. “It’s a long story but-.”

“Great, we’ve got time then,” Dean interjected. “You need to explain. Now.”

“Dean.”

“We can do this the easy way or the holy fire way. Take your pick, Cas.”

Castiel had no doubt that Dean would go through with the threat. The hunter was angry, yes, but he had every reason to be. Castiel did hurt him. And he owed Dean answers. He couldn’t ignore the situation between them forever.

“Okay,” he finally relented, meeting Dean’s gaze. “I’ll tell you everything you want to know.”

“Good.”

Dean didn’t move. Neither did Castiel. They stared at each other, waiting for either one to make the first move.

What was that human expression? You can cut tension with a knife. Castiel wondered if he could do the same with his angel blade. It was getting uncomfortable. 

Sam clearing his throat in that awkward way of his broke through the glass of tension. “Um, so, we need some stuff from the store. Jack, you wanna come with? Miracle could use the walk.”

Who on Earth was Miracle?

Castiel finally tore his gaze away from Dean to look at Jack, who hung his head.

“I won’t run away,” he promised.

Castiel could hear the sincerity in his tone and knew that he wasn’t lying. So, he nodded, giving his permission.

Jack flashed a smile before bounding off towards the hall. Meanwhile, Dean huffed and stalked off after him. Castiel didn’t dare follow. Dean wouldn’t like it so he stayed put.

Meanwhile, Sam sidled up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “It’s good to see you, Cas,” he said with a fond smile.

For the first time since he arrived at the bunker, Castiel realized that he hadn’t paid Sam any attention or acknowledgment. It was quite rude and he felt embarrassed by his actions towards his friend.

“Hello, Sam,” he said, reaching up to wrap his arms around the taller Winchester.

Sam let out a soft chuckle, returning his hug before letting him go. “So, how have you been? You look… the same, more or less.”

Castiel wondered if Sam was aware of the situation between him and Dean and the deal with the Empty. Surely, Dean had confided in his brother?

“Dean, uh, never told me what happened to you,” Sam stated without prompting and unknowingly answering Castiel’s question. “He just said there was a deal and the Empty took you and Billie. I’m sorry, I wish I could have helped, somehow.”

“I understand, Sam, do not worry. You were getting everyone to safety.”

Sam snorted. “Some good that did. Everyone disappeared anyway.”

“And they have all returned.”

“Yeah, thanks to Jack.” Sam beamed. “Including you. Why didn’t you tell us you were alive?”

“It’s… a long story.”

“And I bet Dean wants to hear it, first. It’s fine, man. You can tell me when we get back, alright? You and Dean… it seems like there’s something unresolved there.”

Castiel couldn’t answer or meet his eyes. Sam patted him on the shoulder again, offering comfort.

“It will be okay. He may be angry, but he did miss you.”

“Thank you, Sam.” Castiel truly appreciated it.

Jack came back right then, wearing a jacket and a golden-haired dog followed at his heels.

“Cas! This is Miracle!”

Ah, the mysterious Miracle was this beauty.

Castiel held a hand out and the dog padded over to sniff at it before licking his palm. The angel smiled, grateful for the gift of trust from the animal and offered him some gentle pets.

“We should get going,” Sam announced. “We’ll be back in an hour. Maybe two. Don’t kill each other.”

Castiel furrowed his brow. “I would never kill-.”

“That was a joke, Cas.”

“Oh. Right. Haha. Thank you, Sam. You two be careful."

Jack attached a leash to Miracle’s collar and together with Sam, they headed up the stairs. The door closed with a ‘bang’ behind them, leaving Castiel by his lonesome in the map room. He considered looking for Dean but the bunker was huge, he could be anywhere. Castiel could try to use his powers and locate him but he had the feeling that Dean wouldn’t appreciate it.

So, he stood there, waiting for several more minutes.

Finally, Dean appeared with a large bottle of liquor in one hand and two glasses in the other. The hunter pointed at one of the chairs with the glasses.

“Sit,” he commanded.

Castiel did, feeling his stomach flip-flopping with what he perceived to be anxiety.

Dean placed a glass on the table in front of Castiel and filled it. Then, he took the seat across and filled his own glass. Without saying another word, he drained the glass, slammed it on the table, and filled it again.

Castiel took a tentative sip of his own drink – whiskey, he realized – not really tasting it but he always humored Dean when he wanted to drink together. Right now, though, it seemed like Dean was determined to fill himself up with alcohol before having a conversation with him.

After his third glass, Dean pushed it away and caught Castiel’s gaze. The angel found that he couldn't look away. 

“Talk.”

“I… I don’t know where to begin.”

“How about from the moment The Empty took you. Start there.”

Castiel took his glass and drained it. The alcohol didn’t affect him, but it gave him a few moments to stall.

Dean wasn’t deterred, though. He kept pinning Castiel down with steely green eyes. They often reminded the angel of fresh grass in the morning, when the blades sparkled with dew. He could get lost in them forever, but now was not the time. 

There was no use in putting off this conversation any longer.

“Alright. I’ll tell you everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Julie and the Phantoms" doesn't have a second season... yet. I'm manifesting it into the universe. Jack would be fascinated by the concept and he'd bop to the music. Dean won't admit it but he thinks the tunes are catchy, too.


	3. Chapter 2: Heaven's Tale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly a lot of talking, especially on Cas' part as he narrates everything that's happened.
> 
> I also want to give a shoutout to my new friends and beta readers over at The Profound Bond discord!
> 
> CadenceImperfect, _Chaotic_Kay_, and xim! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my first two chapters and giving me feedback!
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to the 3 of you!

He was alive. Castiel was alive. He was right here. In the bunker. He was alive all this time. 

Dean could hug him… or throttle him. He hadn’t decided, yet.

Because who the hell came back to life but refused to tell your friends?! Especially your best friend who nearly tore his hair out looking for a way to save you?!

When Castiel agreed to tell him everything that Jack refused to, Dean had stalked off to the kitchen. He needed alcohol for the incoming conversation.

But, even with the angel sitting across from him, drinking whiskey and meeting his eyes (a bit ashamed… good!), Dean still thought he was in some kind of fevered dream. For a moment, he even considered the possibility that he was on a Djinn hunt gone wrong and he was now stuck forever unless he took a knife to himself. But, he dismissed that idea fairly quickly, especially when Castiel started talking about… well… everything.

“When the Empty took me, it made sure to make me suffer. The angels and demons in there all relive their worst regrets and I definitely remember all of mine. The things with Jimmy and Claire. The Leviathans. Mary and Jack.” The angel avoided his eyes. “You and Sam.”

Dean’s mind took him back to that moment. Those last five minutes when the Empty’s black goo covered Castiel and took him away, effectively saving Dean from Billie but losing his life in the process. The moment that prompted that black goo to appear in the first place.

_“The one thing I want is something I know I can’t have.”_

Dean was no fool, okay? People may think he was stupid for a variety of reasons and he was fine with that. It threw them off and made them underestimate him. But, when it came to things that mattered, Dean was not a fool. He knew what Castiel meant by that line. He knew what the angel meant when he said, “I love you.”

The thing was... he just couldn’t fathom the fact that his friend – his _angel_ best friend – could even feel that way, especially towards him. Who was Dean Winchester compared to an angel of the lord? Dean had nothing to offer. Angels could fall in love, Dean now knew and he had enough time in the last year to come to terms with that.

But, an angel in love with someone like him? It sounded like the plot of a badly written T.V. show.

“It was…” Castiel continued, oblivious to the turmoil in Dean’s head. “Plain to say, it was torture. But, I was also relieved. Because now, since it got its revenge on me, it would leave you and Sam and Jack alone and I was at peace with that.”

“We tried to bring you back, you know,” Dean whispered so low that he wondered if Castiel could even hear him.

He did, tilting his head to the side in that way he tended to do when he was curious or confused.

Damnit, Dean missed that look. “We searched all the lore. Called everyone we could think of. Even considered making a demon deal to get information.”

He remembered everything that happened in the months following Chuck’s defeat.

The countless hours of going through every single book and scroll in the Men of Letters library for any information on the Empty. There was zero.

Sam calling and e-mailing every professor and theologian he could find. None of them could help.

Staying up all night, bleary-eyed as he clicked and scrolled all over the internet. He made it to the very last page of the search results and still got nothing.

And then, finally, gathering everything he needed to summon a demon and driving to the nearest crossroads. Sam managed to stop him, pleading with him not to do it. It was a bad idea, he said, Castiel and Jack wouldn’t want him to do this. Sam would personally call Rowena and put a stop to the deal if he had to.

That was the last thing Dean did before stopping his efforts, altogether.

And, he remembered the frustration, the anger, the feelings of failure, and the constant desire to be numb from everything as he drowned himself in beer and whiskey.

“Did you even hear my prayers?” Dean’s voice cracked but he couldn’t find it in himself to care, too lost in the memories of the past year. 

He was familiar with the stages of grief, as he had taken a Psychology elective back in one of his many high schools (though he couldn’t remember which one). But, in their line of work, there was no time to go through all five stages when there was another monster whose head needed chopping off the very next day. Sure, it was probably a really unhealthy way of coping and dealing with grief, but that was the way things were with him. 

But, it was different when Castiel was taken by the Empty. 

It was denial, anger, bargaining, back to anger, back to bargaining, back to anger, over and over and over again until depression hit… he never even made it to acceptance.

The angel looked down at the table, avoiding Dean’s gaze again. “I’m sorry, Dean. I… Jack had given a select group of angels the task to receive prayers and fulfill them if needed. I can no longer hear prayers… not even yours.”

That was new. It was almost enough to get Dean out of his current headspace.

“So, what? You all got job transfers? Promotions?”

Castiel cracked a small amused smile. “Something like that.”

“I still don’t get it. Did Jack just change everything? And you still haven’t said how you got out.”

“The same way humans were returned to Earth. Jack.”

Castiel settled back in his seat, as if getting ready to tell a very long story. So, Dean also leaned back, trying to get comfortable.

“When you and Sam defeated Chuck and Jack absorbed his powers, there were less than ten angels left in Heaven. Jack may have inherited Chuck’s powers but it didn't mean that he had the remaining angels’ loyalty. Duma used him to create angels out of humans but that means nothing if those angels don’t even know how Heaven works. Jack knew he needed help, so he visited the Empty. When the bomb exploded, it woke up every angel and demon already there. When I arrived, everything was chaos. Demons and angels were fighting, but it wasn’t like they could kill each other all over again. They were already dead. It didn’t stop a millennium of animosity, though. The Empty managed to get everything back to some order and some of us, including myself, fell back asleep. But there were still too many stray angels and demons who were wide awake and running around, disturbing the Empty’s rest. Jack and Rowena made a deal-.”

“Wait… Rowena? Our Rowena?”

Castiel squinted. “Do you know of another Rowena who rules Hell as its queen?”

Dean scoffed. “Touché.”

The angel’s lip twitched. “As I was saying, Jack and Rowena made a deal with the Empty. Hell, as it turns out, was having its own issues. Rowena didn’t have enough demons to run her… soirees.” Castiel made a face at that. “And she couldn’t ensure the complete loyalty of the ones remaining, seeing as she’s friends with the Winchesters and… well… you did kill many of their kind and their leaders so they still held a grudge. And Heaven, as I mentioned, didn’t have enough angels.”

The clogs in Dean’s brain turned as he figured out where Castiel was getting at. “So… they took some angels back? And demons?”

Castiel nodded. “They offered to resurrect the runaway angels and demons, as well as a few others and convinced the Empty that the move was needed. Chuck left everything broken and in shambles. They needed reinforcements to restore the balance of the universe. And, that way, the Empty can return to its rest. Well, it seemed that the Empty valued its sleep more than revenge because it agreed. And I was one of the angels resurrected. It wasn’t too happy about that.” Castiel chuckled, amused, before his face went serious again. “But… there’s a price.”

Dean sighed. “Of course, there is,” he muttered.

“It’s not a high price, Dean. In fact, it’s quite reasonable.”

Castiel paused for a second, seeming to contemplate if he should tell him or not. In the end, he did.

“Everyone who has been resurrected… their next death is their final death. No more resurrections. No more cheating. If I die tomorrow, Jack can’t make deals to bring me back nor can he use his powers. I would belong to the Empty, forever.”

The hunter felt himself go cold at that, a lump in his throat forming. He didn’t want to think of Castiel being gone tomorrow. They just got him back. 

Castiel must have noticed his look because he smiled in a reassuring way. “I won’t die tomorrow, Dean. Don’t worry. The angels have all begun to value their second chance at life. With Jack leading us, we can make things right again, both in Heaven and here on Earth.”

Dean cleared his throat. “Right… right.”

His hand itched to grab the whiskey bottle and pour himself another glass but he couldn’t, he wanted to at least be partially sober to hear the rest of this.

“So… the archangels, huh?”

Castiel nodded. “Yes. Except for Lucifer, of course. He’s still in the Empty. We made sure that he’s asleep and forever will be.”

“Who else that we know is back?”

“Well, there’s Balthazar… Hannah… Samandriel… Rachel… Anna… Hael… Gadreel… And many others that we knew Jack could trust.”

“How do you know?”

“They were recommended by myself and the archangels. I was the first to be resurrected, followed by Gabriel and Michael. They requested Raphael to be brought back as well.” At this, Castiel smiled. “They have reconciled with each other. Mostly to the urging of Gabriel. It appears that even powerful archangels cannot resist any request from their youngest brother.”

So, they had the whole team back. Cool, cool. So, now, the question was, were they going to bother him and Sam again?

Castiel must have read his mind.

“Jack has decreed that Heaven was now hands-off when it comes to human affairs. Unless, of course, something dire comes along, like another apocalypse or a demon uprising. Which is unlikely because Rowena now has all her demons under strict control.” He seemed to hesitate before continuing, “She brought back Crowley and placed him in charge of the crossroads again. He seems satisfied with that.”

Dean’s eyes widened. He didn’t know how to feel, knowing that Crowley was back. On the one hand, the dude was an enemy. On the other hand, he was an occasional ally and he did die to save them.

“Mother and son have come to a truce," Castiel explained. "As long as they left each other alone in their respective factions in Hell, they swore not to interfere with each other's decisions.”

Dean cleared his throat again. “That’s… that’s good. Happy for Rowena. She almost killed us when she found out Crowley died. At least she finally got everything she always wanted. Did you know she left all of her witchy stuff to Sam? He brought them all back here from her apartment. Has a room for them and everything. I can show you later.”

The invitation made Castiel smile. “Thank you, Dean.”

“So… what about you? What’s your new job?”

“Oh, I assist Jack. He creates the plans, I ensure that they’re taken care of. He also decided to break down the barriers that created individual heavens and has placed me in charge of the rebuilding.”

That made Dean sit up straighter. “So, our friends and family…?”

“They are able to visit each other, now. Your mother has dinner with Bobby, Ellen, and Jo once a week. They’ve invited me and Jack but, unfortunately, we’ve been busy. We also found Kevin and gave him his rightful place in Heaven as a prophet of the Lord. He and Charlie have met and bonded.”

That information made Dean grin. He always knew that if given the chance, those two would have been a powerful force. He still regretted their endings but this gave him some comfort. He couldn’t wait to tell Sam.

Then, another thought occurred to him.

“What about Dad? Is he… up there?”

Castiel seemed to hesitate. “He… is… He and Mary are… civil.”

“Oh.”

Civil.

Not exactly what he expected to hear. But, then again, he knew by now that John and Mary’s marriage wasn’t as perfect as John's memories made them out to be. John made mistakes and so did Mary. Perhaps, it was for the best. Hey, at least he and Sam didn’t have to go through the mess of watching their parents get divorced.

“They’re happy, Dean.”

He nodded. “That’s good to know.” He paused. “And… Adam?”

Castiel’s smile widened. “He’s alive.”

Dean almost fell off his chair. “Wait, really?”

“He was brought back along with everyone else on Earth. But, with Michael in the Empty at the time, there was no use for him as a vessel anymore. Last we checked, he had settled in his hometown in Minnesota. Built a new life for himself.”

“That’s… good.”

Another one of Dean’s regrets. He wished he had been a better brother to Adam. But, part of him knew it was too little too late. It didn’t mean he had to stop caring. Adam was still family. Maybe one of these days, he and Sam would visit him.

Castiel’s tired sigh brought him out of his thoughts of guilt and regret.

“Honestly, Dean, it was a difficult transition, at first. Many of the souls didn’t know how to approach their new freedom. And they were suspicious of the angels. Some didn’t even realize that they had died. Those were the most difficult cases. But, fortunately, in time, they’ve managed to adjust and create their own communities, as if they’re still living on Earth. They’re much happier now. And at peace.”

It was a relief to hear that his family and friends were fine. They were happy and at peace. That was all he and Sam ever wanted for them. Now, he was rest assured that someday, hopefully a very long time in the future and not anytime soon, they would both get to join them.

“We are righting all the wrongs and mistakes we’ve made, Dean. It’s not perfect, yet, but we’re getting there.” A worried look crossed the angel’s face. “There are… some angels who are still skeptical that these changes will make everything better. So, we’re trying to re-establish trust among our own as well. That’s why I need to get Jack home.”

Dean nodded, absentmindedly. They’ve pretty much talked about everyone and everything. Castiel told him all he wanted to know. Except for one thing.

One thing they were both clearly avoiding.

Castiel hadn’t even tried to bring it up.

It was up to Dean, then.

He cleared his throat again that it was starting to actually feel scratchy. He wished he had water in reach because he didn’t want to leave Castiel alone just go to the kitchen for some. Instead, he just filled his glass with whiskey again and tossed that back. Hydrate the throat and get that extra bout of nerve.

“So, uh, everyone’s happy, huh?”

“Yes.”

“What about you?”

Castiel squinted. “What about me, Dean?”

“Are you happy?”

That question seemed to catch the angel off-guard. He was staring at Dean like he’d grown three heads or something.

Dean continued, “Back when Billie was coming after us, you said that the Empty will take you once you’ve experienced true happiness.”

“I… yes.” Castiel looked resigned now, like Dean had just yelled “Off with your head!” at him.

“Then you said all those things about me…”

_“You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know.”_

Castiel couldn’t meet his eyes.

“And you told me you…”

_“I love you.”_

He watched in slight amusement as Castiel suddenly grabbed the bottle of whiskey, poured himself half a glass, and downed it.

“Did you mean it?”

The angel let out a soft chuckle. “You know I don’t say things that I don’t mean, Dean.”

“So… you meant it.”

“…. Yes.”

“Oh.”

Dean anxiously ran a hand through his hair. What he really wanted was another drink but he didn’t want to be too far gone. Not with Castiel here. Not when they’re finally talking about this.

“I… don’t know what to say.”

Castiel flashed him a wary look. “You don’t have to say anything, Dean.”

“I just… Cas… Buddy… I’ve never…”

He never thought of the possibility of the two of them being together in that way.

As a young man in his 20’s, Dean was careful to not let his mind stray to those possibilities when it came to other men. The early 2000’s wasn’t exactly the friendliest to folks who were… different. You were ostracized, turned into a joke, and if you were a man, your masculinity was questioned.

Now, though, things were different. Dean was in his 40’s and the world had drastically changed.

Male celebrities admitted that they were attracted to other men. Gay men played sports. Men married other men and had children. “Brokeback Mountain” was considered a classic romance movie. Heck, Pride parades were highly-publicized events now!

What did the kids say these days? Things were ‘woke.’

And Dean, himself, had changed. He didn’t flinch when men touched him anymore. He no longer minded the occasional flirty looks and winks thrown his way. In fact, he was quite flattered to be considered attractive enough to both sexes. And if Dean were to have a male partner, why not Castiel? He understood Dean in the deepest and most intimate ways. They made a good team in everything they did. And Castiel was his best friend.

But, there was a part of him… a very small part of him… that still questioned if what he was feeling was something worth exploring or if it was simply the result of a selfish desire to keep Castiel around _because_ he was his best friend.

“It’s okay, Dean,” the angel’s voice broke through the turmoil in his head. Castiel was smiling. “I never expected any reciprocation. I’m happy enough to simply be your friend.”

What else could Dean say to that?

“I… okay…” He pushed back his seat and stood up, stretching. “Jack and Sam will probably be back soon.” He flashed Castiel a look. “At least stay for dinner before you guys go back.”

He wanted to keep them around for as long as he could.

Castiel looked unsure at that so Dean brought out the puppy eyes. “Aw, come on! You haven’t had my burgers in a year! You know you miss it! You probably haven’t been eating!”

At that, Castiel chuckled. “I did miss your burgers,” he admitted, shyly.

Dean felt himself preen as he clapped his hands.

“Great! So, I know Sam’s trip to the store was just an excuse but I know there’s enough ingredients in the kitchen right now to make the patties. Wanna help me?”

The angel nodded and gestured with his hand, a silent invitation for Dean to lead the way.

And as they mixed ingredients and molded the patties, Dean couldn’t help but feel content. He hadn’t felt this relaxed all year.

It wasn’t until he was grilling the burgers that he realized that Castiel never answered his first question.

Why didn’t he tell them he was alive?

But, when he looked over at him, the angel seemed to be in better spirits as he chopped the tomatoes, chattering about how it came to be and its evolution over the years. (Apparently, it was called Nighshade in pre-historic days? Weird.)

Dean figured he would just ask again at another time. The important thing was that they had Castiel back and there was a higher chance of him and Jack visiting them more in the future. Everything was back the way it should be. 

* * *

Jack was quiet in the car (they took the Thunderbird) on the way to the grocery store. Sam couldn’t help but flash him worried looks every now and then. In the back, Miracle laid down on the seat, calm and behaved.

“So…” Sam began, trying to sound nonchalant. “Cas is back.”

Jack hummed in response.

“You… uh… didn’t tell us he was alive.”

“You guys didn’t ask.”

“Right… right.”

Jack seemed to take pity on him. “I did ask him if he would like to visit you and Dean. I would have allowed him to, despite the new rules. He declined.”

Sam frowned, feeling a little hurt by that. Why didn’t Castiel want to see them? They were friends, weren’t they? What the hell happened when the Empty took him?!

As if reading his thoughts (maybe he was) Jack continued, “He said he didn’t want to force himself back into your lives... Oh… I think I wasn’t supposed to tell you that.”

From the corner of his eye, Sam could see the boy looking guilty for spilling the beans. But, Sam was glad to be aware of the reason.

“He’s our friend, he’s always welcomed to visit.”

Jack hummed again, but not saying anything more. He was probably worried about accidentally spilling more information he wasn’t mean to say to anyone else.

The rest of the driver was silent aside from the song playing on the radio – some new song by Taylor Swift about cowboys. Sam kind of wished Dean was in the car so he could tease him about being a secret fan. Maybe that would cut some of the tension hanging above them.

They made it to the town center in one piece. Sam found a parking spot by a meter, not too far from the store. He placed a couple of quarters into the machine while Jack let Miracle out of the car.

“So, they don’t allow dogs inside,” Sam explained as they strolled down the sidewalk. “Why don’t you guys take a walk around? I won’t be long.” He looked around and spotted an iron bench wrapped around a tree. "We’ll meet at that bench, okay?”

Jack nodded. “Okay, Sam.” To the dog, he said, “Come on, boy. Maybe there are some cats over there for you to chase… I apologize, I wasn’t aware that that’s a harmful stereotype. Of course, if you’re friends with the cat, I don’t expect you to chase them.”

Sam slowed down and watched in amusement as Jack continued to talk to the dog as they walked ahead of him. Seeing that they were okay and Miracle wasn’t breaking away from his leash to chase a cat, he ducked into the grocery store. 

He grabbed a cart, running a mental list of things they needed.

Jack’s nougat. Dean’s Lucky Charms. Meat. Some fruits and vegetables. Dog food for Miracle. Sam was almost out of organic yogurt so he grabbed a tub of it. There was a sale on pasta, too, so he grabbed a couple of boxes.

He quickly paid, grabbed all four bags, and left the store. He was in there for maybe only 20 minutes. He wondered if Dean and Castiel had finished talking or if they just went ahead killed each other, instead.

He spotted Jack sitting on the bench they agreed on, Miracle being doted on by some kids. While the dog was enjoying the pats, Jack had his gaze on a far-off direction, looking contemplative. His brows were all scrunched up. Near him, there was a group of teenagers, talking loudly and excitedly about their upcoming Senior Year. (Sam caught the words "prom", "graduation", and "college applications.")

The kid looked up as he approached and smiled. “I missed it here,” he stated. “Too often, when I was making my rounds around Earth, I was invisible. It’s nice to be noticed again.”

That last sentence seemed like an odd thing to say.

The kids showering affection on Miracle all paused as a woman’s voice called out to them. They said their goodbyes to the dog, thanked Jack for the permission to pet his dog, and then ran off.

Miracle whined at the loss of pets before making his way to Jack and Sam’s feet, lying down, and looking up at them with sad puppy dog eyes. Immediately, Jack reached over to lovingly scratch his head.

Sam’s heart just about burst with warmth at seeing Jack so happy and content.

He really couldn’t help but wonder what made Jack leave Heaven all of a sudden. He had Kelly as well as Castiel. And if you counted his brief meeting with Gabriel, he also had his uncles. He had his family up there. But, why did he still leave? Was he really that unhappy?

“Jack…” Sam chose his next words, carefully. “You know that Dean and I care about you, right? You’re our kid and we want you to be happy. So, if you need to talk about anything that’s bothering you, you can talk to us.”

The boy seemed to think about this, his hand still busy scratching Miracle’s head.

So, Sam simply waited. He checked his phone for the time. Only forty-five minutes had passed since they left. They should probably stay out a little longer, give the two back at the bunker more time. They could stop by the bakery and pick up dessert for dinner. Something that would put Dean in better spirits. So, a pie, obviously. And Eileen had texted him while he was at the store – she had just finished a rugarou case and was on her way home. He began to text her back.

“It just got to be too much.”

Jack’s voice was so low that Sam almost missed it. He finished up his text to Eileen and sent it out before giving Jack his full attention.

“What got too much, Jack?” he asked.

Jack looked up and stared again in the direction of the teenagers. “The responsibility,” he replied. “Everyone expects so much from me. And if I make a mistake, the whole world will suffer.”

Sam felt himself nod. “Yeah… I see what you mean. You feel this pressure to be perfect because you don’t want to be…” He trailed off.

Jack finished for him. “I don’t want to be like Chuck.”

“You won’t be,” Sam jumped in, immediately. “You’re better than him. You’ve already done so much good. And I’m sure Heaven is functioning great with you.”

Jack flinched at that. “Did you know that they hated me, at first? The angels.”

That silenced Sam. What?! How could the angels not like Jack?! Didn’t they once try to kidnap him so he could do what they wanted?! And, he wasn’t just powerful, he was a sweet and loving kid with a kind heart! What else could they ask for in an almighty leader?

“They didn’t believe I could do it,” Jack continued, sounding resigned. “I had all these plans for Heaven. To make it a wonderful place for the souls to really and truly be happy. But, they thought it was too ambitious for… a child… to accomplish. If it wasn’t for Cas and Uncle Gabriel vouching for me, they wouldn’t even give me a chance. Even now, sometimes, they watch me closely, waiting for me to make a mistake.” He sighed, loudly. “It’s just… too much. I needed a break from all of it.”

“I… I’m sorry to hear that, Jack,” was all Sam could manage. “But... you know… things are still new. They’re probably still getting used to it. They’ll come around, I’m sure.”

“I guess…” The boy let out a breath before breaking into a smile. “I almost forgot to ask. How is Eileen?”

Sam’s heart did a little flip. “She’s good. She just texted me, actually. She just finished a case and is on her way home. And… uh…”

Sam hesitated. He wanted to tell someone about this new thing going on in his life but he was afraid of it getting back to Dean. Jack patiently waited for him to continue, looking genuinely interested. It was easy to talk the kid. He may not comprehend why things were the way they were, sometimes, but he never judged.

“We… We’ve been thinking of moving in together,” Sam finished.

Jack’s eyes widened. “Really? Will she be moving into the bunker? There’s plenty of room.”

The boy’s innocence made Sam chuckle. God or not, at the end of the day, Jack was still just a child.

“No, we were thinking of moving to somewhere that’s not the bunker. Maybe an apartment… or a house. We haven’t really decided. But, uh, Dean doesn’t know, yet. I haven’t had the chance to bring it up.” The thought of his brother reminded him why he hadn’t talked to him about his plans. “Honestly, I’m kind of worried about Dean.”

Jack tilted his head to the side, brow furrowing. “Why? Is something wrong?”

Sam didn’t mean to have it all spilling out. He didn’t want to worry Jack any more than he needed to be. But, he rarely expressed how deep his worry and concern for Dean really was. Sometimes, he would talk to Jody about it but she already had four of her own to worry about, he didn’t want to add one more. He could talk to Bobby but, no matter how hard he tried, he just wasn’t the same as their Bobby.

But, Jack knew Dean and had a bond with it. It was a rocky bond but a bond nonetheless.

“Just… after everything that happened last year, his drinking has gotten worse. I mean, it was bad before but it's even worse now. He just keeps drinking until he blacks out. And he’s been reckless at hunts.”

“Reckless?”

Sam sighed, not really wanting to recall that awful incident months ago but found himself talking about it anyway. 

“A couple of months ago, we took on a vampire case. They kidnapped two kids after killing the dad and cutting off the mom’s tongue. We tracked the nest down to Ohio, at a barn. And Dean… I don’t know what was going on with him but he was slower than usual… a vamp caught him and tried to push him up a rebar... I managed to cut the vamp’s head off in time so all Dean got was a giant gash in the back but… damnit, I almost lost him! But he didn’t seem so concerned about it!” He shook his head. “It was bad… really bad. We cut back on taking cases after that.”

Jack appeared distressed at that. “I… I’m sorry… If I had known…”

“It’s okay.”

“I should have known… I’m… God.”

The kid said it with such disdain that Sam wondered if there was truly more to his running away than what he had been willing to share. So, he just patted him on the back and got to his feet.

“Let’s pick up a pie before heading home,” he suggested.

Jack nodded in agreement and stood up, too. He gazed one last time at the group of teenagers. They seemed to fascinate him and the unreadable look on his face was hard for Sam to decipher, so he brushed it off as just Jack's curiosity. After all, he didn't have any friends his age. (That was just a sad thought, wasn't it?) 

The two went to the bakery where they picked up an apple pie, went back to the car (they just made it before their time was up), and headed home. 

Sam drove leisurely, wanting to give Dean and Castiel as much time as possible. So, it caught him by surprise when Jack suddenly asked, “Did you go to high school, Sam?”

Weird question, but okay. “Yeah, of course. Dean did too.”

“Did you like it?”

“I mean… it was high school. There were hierarchies and peer pressure. It was hard to make friends when you were always the new kid. But, I liked learning. History and science were my favorite subjects. I even went to college and was gonna go to Law School but… well… things happened.”

“What things?” Jack asked, sounding genuinely curious.

“The hunting life caught up, I guess. Dad went missing, Dean needed help, we worked on a case, my girlfriend was murdered… a lot happened.”

“Right… but… high school… you liked it?”

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

It took Jack a few seconds to give him an answer. “Just curious.”

The rest of the drive was quiet but from the corner of his eye, Sam could practically see the wheels turning in Jack’s head and he wondered if it had anything to do with the teenagers he was watching. Why else would Jack suddenly ask him about high school?

* * *

The delicious aroma of burgers greeted them when they opened the door to the bunker. It made Jack’s mouth water and he realized that he hadn't eaten since lunch. So, he and Sam followed the scent to the kitchen where they found Dean and Castiel laughing about something, the earlier tension completely gone. Miracle bounded forward with an excited bark, happy to see Dean.

“Hey! Welcome back!” Dean greeted with a grin, scratching the dog’s head. “Got some beer in there? Cas and I made burgers.”

“Great!” said Sam, placing their groceries on the table and taking them out. “Mind if I make a salad real quick? It won’t take long. Maybe twenty minutes.”

Dean made a disgusted face. “Seriously?”

“You have to watch your cholesterol, Dean! You’re not twenty-six anymore!”

Dean scoffed. “Whatever. Fine. Make your rabbit food. I’ll just disown you.”

Sam laughed as Jack stepped forward and placed his own bag on the table. “Sam bought a pie for dessert.”

“Never mind, you’re back in the family.”

Dean practically snatched the box and would have probably dug in if Castiel hadn’t taken it away, admonishing him about how inappropriate it was to eat dessert before real food. Dean whined about how unfair it was that he had to wait because pie was appropriate for every meal.

It was almost like nothing had changed.

Jack missed this. And he couldn’t wait to have dinner with all three of them again. But, first, there was something he needed to do.

“May I be excused?” he asked.

“The salad won’t take long, Jack,” Sam told him from where he was chopping up lettuce.

“I just… need a few minutes… please?”

All three looked at him and Jack could clearly see the worried looks on their faces. He hated it and only made him want to leave the room faster.

Thankfully, Dean came to his rescue. “Actually, I forgot to make the fries. Cas, wanna peel some potatoes for me? Jack, we’ll call you when dinner’s ready.”

Jack forced a smile on, said “thank you”, and immediately left the kitchen. Behind him, he could hear the padded footsteps of Miracle following him out. He stopped to wait for him and, unfortunately, caught the start of a conversation in the kitchen.

“Hey, Cas. What the hell's been going on in Heaven?” Sam’s voice was filled with worry. “Jack’s different. When I was talking to him earlier, he sounded... sad."

“I… I honestly don’t know,” replied Castiel, also sounding worried. “He seemed fine. But, then he didn’t show up for dinner at Kelly’s. She thought he was just late. He usually sent someone along to let her know he was going to be late but no one showed up. And when she went to his room and found his note, she called me.”

“Something’s going on with that kid,” added Dean.

Jack couldn’t listen anymore. He resumed the walk to his room, his speed much quicker than earlier. He could fly, if he wanted to, but it just felt more natural to walk while in the bunker. He wasn’t trying to escape or hide from anyone or anything here. This was home.

He made it to his room, locked the door behind him and Miracle, and walked up to his bed. He settled in the middle, cross-legged. Meanwhile, Miracle took up residency at the end. Jack smiled fondly at the dog before looking straight ahead at the empty wall. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and emptied his mind.

He imagined that he was lighter, like a leaf being carried by the wind to his next destination: himself. He traveled deep into his mind, a sliver of light in a sea of darkness. He was surrounded by nothing but he wasn’t alone. No. Ever since he took on the powers and responsibility of God, he was never ever alone.

The darkness made way to light. Soon, Jack felt his sneakered feet hit sand. In the distance, he spied a soft blue sky, clear of clouds, with the beating sun at its corner and underneath it was a vast sparkling blue ocean.

It was nice here. Picturesque. Peaceful. It looked so real.

“Jack?”

He smiled, turning around to offer a greeting of his own. “Hello, Amara.”


	4. Chapter 3: Jack's Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much in terms of romance in this chapter but it's definitely a lot of emotions.
> 
> I realized that, as my habit, I ended up writing more than I intended, so I've added the "slow burn" tag, just in case.

Ever since Jack took on the powers and responsibilities of God, he could feel the presence of his great aunt. At first, Amara had been surprised to see Jack in the little space she called her own in his subconscious. Her last memory, after all, was of her brother Chuck absorbing her into himself. She did not expect to see anyone again.

Jack told her everything that happened since then – her brother’s betrayal and lies, the erasure of humanity, and the Winchesters risking it all to save the world one last time. And when he told her that he now had Chuck's powers, she had been surprised yet pleased. She told him that even though she loved her brother, it was finally time for him to get knocked off his pedestal.

And, then, Jack offered to release her. 

_“That’s very sweet of you. But, you know what?” She looked around her – the place resembled a meadow, with the greenest grass and the tallest flowers that normally wouldn’t grow in such an area. “I think I’m alright here.”_

_The decision had confused Jack. “But, don’t you want to back out there in the real world? Do whatever you want? Be whoever you want? You’re free now.”_

_“And I’m making use of that freedom by staying here,” she replied, kindly, as she stretched out on the grass, the skirt of her long red dress fanning out around her._

_“I don’t understand.”_

_She breathed in, deeply, and released it in a sigh. "Out there, I’ll be sought out by angels and demons, alike, for my powers and connection to Chuck. But, in here, in my own little piece of heaven, I can live out the rest of eternity in peace.”_

_She snapped her fingers and the meadow dissolved._

_Jack suddenly found himself indoors in an unfamiliar place. It was dimly lit by candles and the walls were made of polished stone. Built within the floors are different baths filled with water and red flower petals scattered on top. When his eyes found Amara, she was no longer wearing a dress but a long fluffy white robe._

_“I can be in a spa…”_

_She snapped her fingers again and the spa disappeared._

_A chair appeared under Jack and he was sitting at a table, Amara across from him, wearing a black dress and holding a glass filled with golden-white liquid. Behind her was the sea, calm and quiet. On the table, they each had a plate of some kind of grilled fish and a salad (but it wasn't made of lettuce or spinach but of spindly green things that reminded Jack of spaghetti)._

_“Or a seaside restaurant.” Amara grinned before taking a sip from the glass. She made a satisfied noise, lightly smacking her lips. “Chardonnay is a gift.”_

_“But… you’ll be alone if you stay here.”_

_Amara put her glass down and met his eyes, her gaze piercing. “I won’t be alone. You’re here.”_

_That revelation had alarmed at first but Amara immediately calmed his panic._

_“Don’t worry. I won’t be peeking into your mind and invading your privacy. Just… think of me as the annoying voice in the back of your head. You won’t even notice I’m there unless you need me. Besides, you have a lot of work to do now. You can make the world how you want it to be. How you think it should be.”_

_The shadow of a light weight he felt on his shoulders all of a sudden turned heavy._

_“I… I don’t know what to do,” Jack admitted._

_And Amara had sent him a pitying look and something he could only describe as regret. She reached out across the table to take his hand, holding it gently._

_“I know that I missed three years of your life, Jack. When you were born, I knew, yet I didn’t even try to visit or get to know you. You lost your mother and Castiel. You were placed under the Winchesters’ care but I know how those boys are, it must have been difficult. And your father…” She closed her eyes, as if in pain, before shaking her head and opening them again. “Let me be what your grandfather should have been to you. A guiding hand. Someone you can rely on and come to when you’re in need of advice. Let me be part of your family. Except, you know, I’m in your head.”_

_She flashed him a mischievous smile that made his lips twitch._

_Family._

_Jack already had a family but he left them. Castiel was gone. He only had his mother in Heaven and he hadn’t even visited her, yet. Now, Amara, his grandfather’s sister, was offering to be his family. He didn’t even know her that well. He didn’t know if he could trust her. But, right now, she was the only one he had who could guide him through this sudden change in his life._

_He managed a smile. “Thank you… Aunt Amara… Great aunt Amara?”_

_Her eye twitched and she cleared her throat. “Just Amara, please. Both of those make me feel older than I actually feel. I’d like to hold on to my youth for as long as I can.”_

_For the first time since he got his God powers, Jack laughed._

And Amara had been there for him ever since.

True to her word, she didn’t look into his mind or interfere with his decisions but she was his best advisor. No one really knew that she had taken residence in his subconscious, except for his mother (he could never keep anything a secret from his mother). Jack preferred it that way and Amara wasn’t looking for any credit. She was happy in whatever heaven she created in her own little spot in his mind. And, of course, he visited her as often as he could.

So, when he appeared at the beach, she had given him a hug in greeting, which he eagerly returned, missing the warmth of her affection.

“It’s good to see you,” she said as she released him.

She was wearing a dark yellow sundress, a wide-brimmed straw hat, and black flip-flops. The beach was one of her favorite heavens. Jack often found himself here when he visited her and preferred this one the most. The spa ones were always awkward so he would either ask if she could please switch them to another location or offered to just come back when she wasn’t in the tub. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case today.

“It’s good to see you, too. I’m sorry I haven’t visited in a while.”

She waved a hand in dismissal before removing her flip-flops and plopping on the sand. She patted the space next to her and he, too, sat and removed his sneakers and socks. The sand was warm under his feet and the sand tickled between his toes. It was nice.

“I assumed with all your renovations, you’d be occupied. I don’t mind. I took a nice road trip to the countryside.” She snapped her fingers and a tan bucket hat appeared in her hands, which she proceeded to plop into Jack’s head. “Your face will get sunburned without proper protection.”

Even though he knew the sun wouldn’t affect him here (or even out there in the real world), Jack still appreciated the gesture.

“The renovations are doing well,” he began. “The souls seem to have gotten used to the new way of things so they’ve been venturing out more and more to seek out their friends and families. Some areas of Heaven still need some creative building but the angel Anna is doing a good job leading the team for that.”

“That’s good to hear,” Amara replied, smiling at him. “I’m very proud of what you’ve accomplished so far, Jack.” She leaned back against the sand. “So, what’s next?”

Jack looked down at his feet, wiggling his toes against the grains of sand. Luckily, this was all in his subconscious so he didn’t have to clean up when he left it. He wondered if he had time to make a sandcastle.

“Jack?”

He closed his eyes and took a long deep breath. “I did something wrong.”

There was only silence in response, save for the sound of the waves.

Slowly, Jack opened his eyes, wary of how his great-aunt was going to react.

There was no judgment in her eyes, only patience. She nodded at him to continue.

“I ran away,” he confessed.

The sudden change in Amara’s expression was subtle but Jack had learned how to look for it. Right now, she seemed rather surprised and he couldn’t blame her. Everyone didn’t understand why he did what he did. Heck, even he didn’t understand his own impulsive decision.

“I see,” Amara finally said as she sat up. “Why?”

Jack parroted back the same he told everyone else. “I needed a break.”

Amara didn’t buy it. At least, not all of it.

“And?” she pushed.

Jack felt his eyes stinging but he held back the tears threatening to show themselves. He rarely let himself cry these days. After all, God was supposed to be a strong powerful being, right? He didn’t cry, right?

He swallowed the lump in his throat. “A couple of days ago, I was visiting the souls, making sure everything was okay and that renovations were on schedule. And they are, Anna is very time-efficient and the angels listen to her and-.”

“Jack,” Amara interrupted his attempt to ramble, gently.

“Right. Sorry.” He cleared his throat and continued, “So, there I was, checking in on the souls as always. Then, a woman came up to me. She demanded to know why her father was not in Heaven. It turns out, he had died decades prior and she couldn’t find him anywhere. So, I told her that if he wasn’t there, he… he may be in Hell. She… didn’t like that answer.”

Amara made a soft humming sound. “I see. Did you try to see if her father was simply misplaced?”

“I did. I asked for his name and checked the records, myself. He’s not in Heaven. So, I got in touch with Rowena and she confirmed it for me… he’s there.”

“And you told her this.”

“I did. She told me it was a mistake and that I needed to fix it. I was honest and told her that I didn’t have jurisdiction over Hell, Rowena did. I could review the case but… Rowena told me he was in there for a reason. He had committed several unforgivable atrocities when he was alive and felt no remorse for them. Although he truly loved his daughter, his sins couldn’t save his soul.”

Jack closed his eyes and took another deep breath, the feelings of guilt and failure washing over him like saltwater.

“She… she told me I was wrong. She said… I had no business being God if that was the way I run things. That I was just a kid who didn’t know anything.” He opened his eyes, his vision blurring from unshed tears. “I think she’s right. I’m just a kid, Amara. I don’t know what I’m doing. I thought I could do this. I thought… I could be God. But… it’s just so hard. And I’m so tired.”

For months, he had all these doubts running through his head. He had read that God was supposed to be all-knowing and all-seeing. But, Jack was clueless and awkward and easily distracted. Was he even the right person for this job?

Gentle arms wrapped around him and Jack allowed himself to take in the comfort, laying his head on her shoulder.

He so rarely received hugs nowadays. Only his mother and Castiel ever offered them to him. His uncles, although Jack knew they loved him, were not affectionate beings. None of the other angels felt any sort of kinship with him. To them, he was simply the new God who brought them back from the dead in order to work on the new Heaven. He was their superior, not their family. 

“What do you want to do, Jack?” Amara asked, rubbing his arm. “You told me once that I finally had freedom and it meant I could do whatever I wanted. So, what about you? What do you want to do?”

Jack sniffled. He wasn’t free. Not by a long shot.

His thoughts returned to earlier, when he was waiting for Sam to come out of the grocery store. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop but his powers gave him very good hearing.

The group of teenagers standing by him were high school seniors who, based on their very long and very loud conversation, couldn’t wait for things like prom and graduation but they were dreading college applications. They talked about their school’s sports teams, who got together over the summer, and which teachers they hoped to not get this year.

It was a fascinating conversation and while Jack had listened eagerly, that familiar desire stirred inside him and he remembered Eliot, Max, and Stacey. He wondered how they were, if Stacy had passed her SATs, and if they went to the same school as those teenagers he was watching. He wondered if it was too late to apologize for his mistakes and be friends again. Ever since he met them, he had begun to want something he knew he couldn’t ask for.

He wanted friends. And not just friends. He wanted peers. He wanted…

“I want to go to school,” he confessed. “I want to learn things. About the world around me. About myself. I want to make friends. I want… I want to be just a kid.”

Amara hummed. “So, why don’t you? God deserves a break now and then.”

“I’m afraid.”

“Of?”

“Being like Chuck. Running away and abandoning Heaven.”

“You’re nothing like Chuck.”

Jack allowed himself a chuckle. “Sam said the same thing.”

“Better listen to that one. He’s a smart one.” She squeezed his shoulder. “You’re right. You’re just a kid. All the more reason for you to take a break when you need it.” She gently broke away to gently take his chin between her fingers. “Talk to Castiel. Tell him what you’ve told me. I’m sure he and your mother and your uncles will understand this want of yours.”

“What if they get mad at me?” he asked, afraid.

Amara seemed to ponder on this before giving him an answer. “I can’t guarantee that they won’t have strong feelings about this. But, I know that they love you, just as I love you. We want you to be happy. And, if this is what you need, then I don’t see why they could deny you.” She let out a sigh. “Sometimes, I wish…”

She didn’t finish her sentence, looking off in the distance with a contemplative look.

Before Jack could ask her what she was thinking, Castiel’s echoing voice broke through his subconscious.

“Jack? Dinner’s ready.”

Amara got to her feet. “That’s your cue.”

Jack brushed off the sand from his jeans as he, too, got up. “Thank you for listening, Amara.”

She smiled, stepping forward to plant a motherly kiss to his forehead. “Anytime. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll take a swim.”

With one last wave goodbye, Jack felt himself moving.

Light as a feather, he moved through the darkness before settling and landing. He felt his own weight, heavy against the soft sheets of his bed. Castiel’s voice was clearer as he called to him from the other side of the door.

Jack opened his eyes, giving himself a few seconds to ground himself. Meditating to reach his subconscious to visit Amara always made him somewhat sleepy.

“I’ll be there in a second.”

“Alright. Come out when you’re ready.”

Castiel’s footsteps moved away from the door, making Jack breathe out in relief.

Miracle jumped down to the floor, looking at him expectantly. Smiling at him, Jack stretched and got to his feet.

“I can do this,” he told himself. “I can tell Castiel what I want.”

Filled with new determination, he opened the door to face what was coming next.

* * *

Dinner was a quiet affair. Sure, Dean and Sam talked about what they had been up to in the last year (surprisingly, only a few cases and mostly research for other hunters). And, yes, Castiel gave Sam the short version of everything he told Dean during their talk. Miracle would pop over to them every now and then, flashing puppy dog eyes in hopes of getting scraps (Dean snuck him bits of meat while Sam was turned away, Castiel noticed). But, Jack… Jack was quiet.

He was so inattentive that he barely noticed Castiel, as well as Dean and Sam, flashing him questioning looks every now and then. The boy simply nibbled his burger, picked at his fries, and ignored his salad. Castiel couldn’t decipher what was in his thoughts but they must be deep and, as Sam said, sad. Something was going on with Jack and, for once, he wasn’t confiding in Castiel. It was concerning.

Castiel picked up his own burger and took a bite. As expected… molecules. He could never taste anything. Yet, Dean always seemed to forget. Or chose to ignore it as he would pile Castiel with food, especially if he made it. But, although he wasn’t able to taste the food, Castiel always made sure to show his enthusiasm for it because it boosted Dean’s morale and confidence and Castiel liked seeing him happy.

He was sure the food was as delicious as Dean claimed. After all, Dean took food, seriously. Besides, Sam, Jack, and even Mary back when she was still here all loved Dean’s cooking.

Aside from Jack’s quietness, Castiel was glad that everything seemed to be back to normal now. After their earlier talk, he had been frightened and worried that things would change between him and Dean. But, on the contrary, they had fallen back into old habits and routines. He had avoided telling Dean the reason why he didn’t come to see them after Jack brought him back from The Empty. And, to his relief, Dean hadn’t pushed him further.

How could he tell Dean that he didn’t come to see him because he was embarrassed and afraid of how Dean would react to his return, considering Castiel had confessed his feelings with the belief that they would never see each other again. He was afraid that their friendship would change, that Dean would want nothing to do with him anymore.

It was a silly notion, of course, because no matter what he had done in the past, despite all the bumps and many, many, many trials that came along their way and tested their bond, Dean always came through for him in the end.

Still… he figured he was entitled to some apprehension. After all, he had never been in love before. Truly in love. Not just fascination or infatuation or fondness. True and profound love.

“You guys should stay the night. We can watch a movie or something. Like old times.”

Dean’s voice interrupted Castiel’s musings, making him look up from his half-eaten burger.

The hunter was beaming with what Castiel could determine as hope. He wanted them to stay.

Castiel could feel his chest aching in disappointment as he answered, “I’m sorry, but we can’t.”

At the same time, Jack said, “Yes!”

Frowning, Castiel turned to him. “Jack, we have to go home.”

“Why do we have to leave so soon? We haven’t had movie night in ages.”

“Jack…”

Before Castiel could tell him that they needed to return to Heaven soon or the archangels themselves might try to come and drag him back, Dean had jumped in with movie titles. And it made the angel pause, watching the two interact. For the first time since Castiel arrived at the bunker, Jack was finally looking like, himself. Twinkling eyes and vibrating with excitement.

What kind of father would he be to just destroy this?

So, he held his tongue and allowed the Winchesters to whisk Jack away to the entertainment room after dinner while he offered to clean up and do the dishes. The chore was always rather calming so he didn’t mind it. Compared to everything he did for Heaven, this was a mundane task and he enjoyed it. Kelly never allowed him to do the dishes when he visited her and Jack in their heaven.

When Castiel entered the entertainment room, he had to pause at the door to behold the sight.

Jack was seated on the sofa between Dean and Sam, a bowl of popcorn on his lap, and his eyes glued to the television. Beside him, Dean was talking, pointing things out about the movie, which Castiel could see involved a man in a red robot suit. Meanwhile, Sam was trying to hush his brother, seemingly irritated but his gaze displayed fondness. At Dean’s feet, Miracle was dozing.

Dean must have felt his presence as he looked up and gestured for him to enter. He pointed at the empty recliner next to him with an eager smile.

They watched the movie, which now Castiel knew was about a superhero named Iron Man and the irony, according to Sam, was that his suit was not actually made of iron but of a nickel-titanium alloy. Nonetheless, despite the misnomer, it was quite an entertaining movie.

When it ended, Jack quickly got to his feet, placing the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table before stretching. It looked exaggerated to Castiel.

“I should head to bed,” the boy announced as he began to exit the room.

Castiel frowned and caught his arm before he could go further. “Jack, we need to go home.”

“Dean said we can stay the night.”

“And I’m saying it’s best that we return to Heaven, now.”

“I don’t want to.”

Castiel blinked once. Twice.

“Jack, I know you said you wanted a break and you got it. You were gone for three days. It’s time to return.”

“I know, but-.”

“You can’t hide here forever.”

“I’m not hiding, I just-.”

“We have responsibilities.”

“I said ‘no’, Castiel!”

And to Castiel’s disbelief, Jack yanked his arm away from his hold and his eyes glowed golden. The angel took an involuntary step back. He could feel the energy surging from the Nephilim. It prickled his skin and he was sure the Winchesters could feel it too. From where he was hidden, Miracle whined in distress.

Even though Jack was in control of his powers now, that piercing gaze alone could still smite Castiel where he stood.

“Jack!” Dean scolded, angrily. “Power down! What the hell?! Are you trying to blast us into next week?!”

It took a few seconds but, eventually, the gold faded from Jack’s eyes and guilt replaced the previous anger.

“I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean to,” he whimpered, seeming to curl in on himself.

He looked smaller. Like a child.

Once he was sure that Jack wouldn’t send him flying against the wall at any point, Castiel moved closer and placed a gentle hand on the boy’s arm.

“Okay… It’s okay, I’m not mad. I just want to understand what’s going on.”

Visibly swallowing, Jack nodded. “I don’t want to go back to Heaven,” he repeated.

He had said it so much this night alone that Castiel knew he couldn’t ignore it any longer. There was a reason Jack ran away from Heaven. And there was a reason he didn’t want to go back. As his chosen father, Castiel was supposed listen. And he didn’t. Jack reacted, as he was entitled to. But, Castiel would listen, now.

He turned to the Winchester brothers, who were still tense and alert, ready to jump in at any time.

“Will you give us some privacy?”

Dean immediately protested. “Cas, I don’t think-.”

“Dean. Please.”

Neither of the brothers looked happy to be excluded from the conversation. Nonetheless, Dean whistled for Miracle as he and Sam made to leave the room.

“Take it easy on him,” Sam muttered to Castiel as he passed.

Dean simply flashed him a look, lightly patted Jack on the shoulder, and followed his brother out, Miracle at his heels.

They left the door open. Castiel was about to shut it with his grace when Jack talked.

“Please don’t make me go back to Heaven.”

Castiel felt his own brow furrow and his head tilt to the side. “Don’t you want to go home? Your mother has been worried, Jack.”

“I know. And I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to her, somehow. But… I want to stay here. I…” He paused, swallowing. “I… I want to go to school.”

A beat passed. Then two.

Castiel was confused. “School?”

A subtle twitch of a smile graced the boy’s lips. “Yes… Like… High school.”

Castiel was still confused. “Why?”

“Because… I think it would be… nice.”

“Jack, you are one of the most powerful celestial beings with cosmic powers beyond any human’s comprehension. You rule Heaven and have dominion over Earth. Why would you want to go to high school?”

It sounded a little ludicrous, from Castiel’s perspective.

“I just… want to be normal.”

“Jack… you’re not normal.”

A flash of hurt crossed Jack’s eyes, making Castiel regret his choice of words.

“I know that! I know… okay? I’m God. I get it. But, I can’t help it, Cas. I want to go to school.”

“Jack, you have a responsibility.”

Castiel could pinpoint the exact moment the thread snapped and the carefully stitched Jack unraveled right in front of his very eyes. It was on the word “responsibility.”

“I never asked for it! Any of it!”

Tears began to flow and the distraught boy angrily swiped at them with his knuckles, sounds of distress emanating out of him. So innocent. So childlike.

“I didn’t want this! I didn’t want to be God! But, it was the only way to save everyone! But, I didn’t want this!”

Castiel opened his mouth to try and offer some comfort to this child he came to call his son, but couldn’t find the right words. Instead, he simply stood there, watching the boy cry. Useless.

“S-Sometimes,” Jack hiccupped, as he raised his head to look at Castiel with hurt and hardened eyes.

“Sometimes, I wish I had never sped up my growth, that I had been born an infant instead of… of this!”

He gestured at his body with disdain.

“If I had just stuck to being born normally, then maybe everyone will remember that I’m just a child! That I’m four years old! Then maybe no one will expect me to just take on such a huge responsibility! Without even asking me if I wanted to do it! And maybe... Maybe Dean wouldn’t have hated me so much for causing your death and for Mary being trapped in that other world! And maybe... Maybe you would have tried harder to actually act like my father and not just _leave_ me every time the Winchesters or Heaven needed you for something!”

Even if he didn't do it, it still felt like Jack had used his powers to send him careening towards the wall anyway because the impact of those last words hurt Castiel more than any of his deaths combined.

He would confess that when he made the choice to help Kelly and her baby, he never thought of himself as a father. It wasn’t like he had a good role model when it came to fatherhood. He barely knew his own and he and his siblings were abandoned before Castiel even saw their father's true face. 

But, he had sworn to Kelly that he would raise and protect her baby. He vowed to become the baby’s father. Yet, he died. And, even when he returned, he kept making mistakes with Jack. Over and over and over again.

“I’m sorry,” he managed as he walked closer to his crying son. He pulled the boy into his arms, holding him tightly, cradling him in the way he should have if Jack had been born as a baby. “I’m so sorry. I… I didn’t know.”

Jack sniffed against his shoulder. “I don’t want to do this anymore, Cas.”

“I know, Jack, I know.” Castiel rubbed his back, hoping he was giving Jack the type of comfort he needed. He pulled back, gently, so he could look at him. “Why didn’t you tell me you were feeling this way?”

“I didn’t want you to hate me.”

“Jack, I could never hate you. You are my son. And I know I'm not the best father-.”

“I’m sorry for saying that!” the boy interjected, distressed. “I didn’t mean it. You’re a good father, Castiel. I was just… frustrated.”

Castiel patted his cheek, gently. “You don’t have to apologize. I know my shortcomings and I’m glad you told me.”

Jack’s lip trembled. “Everyone hates me. The angels. The souls. Maybe even Dean still does.”

That made Castiel frown. “Dean doesn’t hate you. He’s made mistakes in the past and I’m sure he’s sorry for them. But, he doesn’t hate you.”

“Okay,” Jack responded but he didn’t sound like he believed Castiel, at all. “But, I’m selfish, aren’t I? For asking this?”

“It’s okay to be selfish once in a while,” said Castiel. “But, running away… wanting to stay here and going to school… that’s not going to solve any problems. You know that, right?”

“I know… but I still want it.” He looked down, avoiding Castiel’s gaze. "I want to be selfish about this one thing. I’ve never asked for anything before.”

Of course, he hadn’t. Jack was one of the most selfless beings Castiel knew but, at the end of the day, he was still just a child. A child who didn’t have a childhood. A child who was forced to grow up and take on a burden that not even a millennia-old being like Castiel could handle. A child who now wanted something that he knew he couldn’t have.

And, right then, Castiel made a choice. “Okay.”

Jack’s head shot up, his eyes wide in disbelief. “R-Really?”

Castiel let out a sigh. “I can’t… promise. But, this is what I’ll do. I’ll talk to your mother and the archangels and explain the situation. I’ll tell them everything you told me.”

Jack looked panicked. “Everything?!”

“Just enough to convince them,” Castiel reassured him, smiling. “And, if they agree, then we’ll figure out the next steps. But… if they don’t, you must return to Heaven. But, even then, we’ll figure something out, alright?”

Jack nodded. “Okay.”

“Why don’t you go to bed?”

“I can stay here?”

“Well, you don’t want to return to Heaven and this is the safest-.”

He was cut off by Jack moving forward to hug him tight. “Thank you, Cas.”

Castiel returned the hug. “You’re welcome. Now, head on to bed. I’ll return as soon as I can.”

“Wait, you’re leaving tonight?!” Jack sounded panicked.

“Better now than later.”

Jack seemed like he wanted to protest but Castiel was set in his decision. So giving up, the boy nodded, wished him a good night, and left the room. As soon as his footsteps faded into silence, Castiel let out a loud sigh. In shaky legs, he stumbled towards the couch and sank into it.

If angels could get migraines, he was sure he’d be having one now. Instead, he was simply feeling a mere annoying and inconvenient throbbing in his temple. He had a strange urge to grab one of Dean’s fancy crystal glasses and a bottle of whiskey.

“You okay?”

Speaking of.

Castiel looked up, flashed the hunter a weak smile, and nodded.

Dean plopped down on the couch next to him, less than an inch of space between them.

For someone who valued his personal space, Dean didn’t seem to mind that he and Castiel were practically shoulder to shoulder. But, the angel had stopped questioning it a while ago. Besides, it was nice to be next to Dean. He emanated warmth and comfort. It calmed him down when his thoughts were swirling like this.

“Is Jack okay?”

Castiel let out an involuntary sigh. “He… let out some of his grievances. It was quite eye-opening.”

Dean hummed but didn’t say or ask anything so Castiel continued.

“You know, I haven’t been his father for very long. And, I admit, I’ve made mistakes. The parenting books all say there’s no such thing as a perfect parent, that we’re all doing our best. But, I suppose, nothing really prepares you for the moment when your child, himself, tells you that you failed and that they’re not happy. And, you, as a parent, know that you contributed to their unhappiness. You want to fix it but you don’t know if you can.” He groaned, closing his eyes and rubbing his fingers over them. “Being a father is hard, Dean. But, I love Jack so much and I want him to be happy.”

“And that’s why you’re going back to Heaven to talk to the archangels.”

Surprised at that, Castiel opened his eyes and flashed him a questioning look.

Dean shrugged. “You guys were kinda loud so…”

Castiel sat up. “You heard…”

“Yeah…”

“Dean…”

“It’s partly my fault too, Cas.” Dean looked genuinely haunted by the notion. “I wasn’t good to him, at first. And every time something happened, I blamed him. Him and you. Cas, I… I never…”

“I know, it’s okay, Dean. It’s all in the past.”

The hunter scoffed. “Clearly, it’s still bugging the kid. He’s all sad and insecure and thinks I still hate him… Goddamnit, I never wanted that.”

Castiel nodded. “Me neither, Dean. But, it’s happened now. And all we can do is try to support him.”

Dean hummed. “High school… The kid has no idea what’s he’s asking. It’s brutal. Kids pick on you for being different. Teachers get all up in your business if they think you’re dumb. Homework and tests and studying. It’s hell on earth, if you ask me.” He leaned back, resting his head on the back of the sofa. “But, if that’s what he wants, then sure, why not?”

“That’s if the archangels and his mother agree, Dean.” Castiel sighed. “I should go.”

At that, Dean quickly sat up, panic clear in his eyes. “You’re coming back, though, right? ‘Cause Cas, buddy… If you don’t come back I… I don’t know if I can…”

Dean was never the best with words, often leaving sentences unfinished. But, after thirteen years, Castiel knew him enough to know how those sentences often ended. Okay, maybe not always, especially if they were pop culture references that he was unfamiliar with. But, he found that he was often close enough.

“I will return, Dean. I promise.”

The hunter sighed in relief. “Okay. Okay, good.”

“Goodbye-.”

“No! No… don’t say goodbye. Just…” Dean visibly swallowed. “Just say, ‘see you later’.”

Castiel tilted his head to the side, confused by the request but agreeing to it, anyway.

“Alright. See you later, Dean.”

“See you later, Cas.”

And with that, Castiel spread his wings and flew.


	5. Chapter 4: The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Destiel moments in this chapter but there's a lot of talking, apologies, and brothers and father-son moments.

One of Castiel’s most cherished memories from when the Empy first released him was the feel of his wings on his back. His majestic wings that were damaged and burned during the Fall. One of his most prized features that he thought he would never get back again. All those years, they felt like a ghost upon his back.

So, when he awakened from his nightmares, delirious and regretful from watching Jimmy sacrifice his life to save his daughter, the heavy weight of his wings was the first thing he acknowledged. He nearly cried from joy. Next was the fact that he was in his true form and not his vessel. It was strange, at first, as he hadn’t been in this form in so long but it felt good, like stretching muscles that had been stiff for so long. And the last was seeing Jack, his son, welcoming him with a wide smile and open arms. His son whom he didn’t think he would see again. It was, indubitably, a joyous moment.

Back before Dean and Sam and his turning away from Heaven, Castiel took flying for granted. After all, it was something that was natural for angels as breathing is for humans. Losing his wings felt like losing a part of himself that made him… _him_. So, when he got his wings back and was able to fly again, he cherished every single moment of it.

For one, he no longer had to go on a long drive and break speeding laws in order to get to a gate in a children’s playground. There were only so many times he could keep appearing there without piquing the concerns of parents.

As he closed in on the gates, he sent out a message on Angel Radio to the archangels, calling for an emergency meeting along with Kelly. If she was involved, they would know it was about Jack.

He arrived in the long empty corridors of the office-like structure that served as Heaven’s headquarters.

It was less plain and dreary than it was before Jack took on the mantle of God. There were paintings on the walls now and the occasional pops of color. There were even full walls of just glass windows that gave the angels a breathtaking view of the vast meadows, forests, mountains, and beaches that made up the new Heaven. Through the windows, they could even glimpse the souls wandering about, happy and content to exist as if they were still alive.

Castiel made his way down the halls to the room that was previously used by whoever was in charge to receive and answer prayers. Jack preferred to listen to prayers outdoors, surrounded by trees, grass, and bees. Even the angels he assigned to hear and answer prayers didn’t like using the room so they had to use it for something else. Now, it served as a sort of board room for important meetings.

When he opened the door, everyone he needed to talk to was already there. Raphael and Michael were seated next to each other, quiet and formal, at the long white table.

Raphael’s vessel was his last female one. When asked about his choice by his brothers, he simply responded that he had grown fond of this human and her body was the most comfortable he had found himself in. The woman had also died when he died and her soul was now in Heaven. He visited her often and, without any context, you would think the two were simply twins, reuniting. His time in the Empty had definitely mellowed him out. He was less combative and more willing to listen, now.

Meanwhile, Michael’s new vessel was completely new. When Chuck had killed him, Adam’s soul was no longer sharing their body. Small blessings as it allowed Jack to bring the youngest Winchester back, intact. But, even though Michael had formed an attachment to Adam, he no longer wanted to inhabit the human’s body. He never said his reasons but Castiel suspected that his bond with Adam was just as deep and profound as his with Dean’s (but no one brought it up, as it always made sadness flash in Michael's face whenever Adam was mentioned). Instead, Michael had found a suitable vessel in a devout man on the brink of dying from cancer who prayed for one last opportunity to do some good in the world. The man had said “yes” without hesitation, shortly before his soul left his body. Michael made sure that his soul was in Heaven, at peace with his loved ones.

Across from the two oldest archangels was Gabriel, talking animatedly to Kelly who was seated next to him, about the benefits of adding a giant candy factory in Heaven for the children (though Castiel suspected it was more for the archangel’s sweet tooth than for the children, but you never knew with Gabriel). And, of course, Gabriel kept his old vessel, as he had centuries to form an attachment to it.

They all looked up as Castiel entered and closed the door.

“Welcome back, Cassie!” Gabriel called out with a grin.

Kelly smiled but the concern in her eyes was clear. “Where’s Jack?” she asked, immediately, looking behind him, as if expecting her son to appear.

Sighing, Castiel made his way to the head of the table and sat down. “There’s… a complication.”

The atmosphere tensed, almost immediately. Even Gabriel’s grin disappeared and his demeanor turned serious and professional.

With an anxious heart but doing his best not to show it, Castiel relayed everything that happened since he left.

Finding Jack with the Winchesters. Jack’s refusal to return to Heaven. His apology to his mother. His grievances for being picked as the new God. And his desire to stay on Earth and go to school.

The archangels and Kelly listened with rapt attention and Castiel secretly observed their faces for any sort of negative reaction. It was subtle but it was there.

Raphael was openly frowning, his eyes hardened. Michael had his stoic mask on but his lips were pressed into think line. Gabriel looked calm but his fist on top of the table opened and closed in various intervals. And, Kelly was clearly worried, her hand occasionally jumping to her lips to bite at her nails.

“This is my fault.”

“Kelly-.”

“I’ve been telling him stories. About my childhood. High school.”

“I’m sure that’s not it.”

“Then how else did he suddenly start thinking about leaving and going to high school?” Kelly snapped at Castiel.

He didn’t really have an answer for her. All he knew was that Jack was unhappy.

“I don’t know,” he replied, honestly. “But, I’m certain it has nothing to do with your stories.”

Gabriel spoke up in his usual joking manner. “So, he wants to go to high school? He wants to do homework and take standardized tests? Learn first-hand what it’s like to give in to peer pressure?”

“Why are we even considering letting him go?” said Raphael, clearly against the whole thing. “His place is here. He has a responsibility. To us, the angels, Heaven, and Earth. He is God.”

“Before he is God, he is our nephew,” retorted Gabriel, his eyes narrowing at his older brother. “Shouldn’t we want to put his happiness, first?”

Out of the four archangels, Gabriel was the one who spent the most time living amongst humans. He had empathy for them. Thus, from the moment he was resurrected, he was always “Jack’s number one uncle” (his words).

“And if Jack decides to run?”

“He won’t!”

“How are you sure about that, Gabriel? You left us, remember? You weren’t there when Father just disappeared one day and never came back. He abandoned Heaven and we had to fend for ourselves, naively believing that he would return. And what happened after that? Chaos. Bloodshed. An apocalypse. If Jack leaves us…”

Raphael may sound angry, but upon closer inspection, Castiel could pinpoint the fear in his voice. He was frightened that history would repeat itself. Michael must have noticed it, too, as he placed a gentle hand on Raphael’s arm, squeezing it in comfort.

Lowering his eyes with shame, Gabriel shook his head. “He’s not dad,” he said, with less vitriol this time. “He won’t leave us just like that. Not the way he did.”

Raphael seemed to consider this. “I care for Jack. He is our brother’s son and he has done wonderful work in the past year. But, I fear that he may want more than what he can have. He was born for a reason and his birth may not be what Lucifer hoped it would be, but perhaps he was born for us. To redeem Heaven and restore it to its former glory.”

“My son is just a kid,” Kelly intervened this time. “He wasn’t supposed to be born older than his actual age. I know he did it for me. But, at the end of the day, he’s only four years old, Raphael. He should be discovering the world for the first time, taking it in and learning about it, not ruling it. I wasn’t opposed, at first, because he insisted that he was needed to do this. He wanted to this. But, now, he’s not happy anymore. I’m his mother and I want him to be happy.”

“But, what about Heaven?” Raphael asked, sounding defeated. “What about us?”

“We are not alone, this time.”

For the first time since the meeting began, Michael finally spoke up. Everyone turned to him, surprised but also expectant.

“I don’t like the thought of Jack leaving Heaven,” he explained, honestly. “But, I understand why he may want to. For us, Heaven is home. For Jack, it may not be. Although, I’m certain he loves being with his mother,” he added for Kelly’s benefit, sending her a small but kind smile. “But, the difference between his leaving and Father’s is that he at least sent Castiel back to inform us. Father never extended the same courtesy to us. Though, I wish Jack came here to tell us, himself.”

Castiel nodded. “I believe that he feared that he might be forced to stay.”

“Either way, what’s done is done,” said Michael, taking his hand back from Raphael and folding it with his other one on top of the table. “I will not force our nephew to come back if he’s not ready. Now, we must simply think of the next steps. And, as I mentioned, we are not alone this time. We have each other.” He smiled at his brothers and Kelly. “We can all work together to ensure that Heaven will continue to run smoothly in his absence.”

There was a moment of silence, each of them contemplating the situation.

Honestly, it was better than Castiel expected. He thought he would have to fight tooth and wing for Jacks’ desires to stay on Earth and go to school.

“What about the angels?” Raphael spoke up, in a low voice. “Are we keeping this a secret from them?”

“No,” replied Michael. “We are past keeping secrets from our brothers and sisters. This time, we must be honest.”

“Some of them ain’t gonna be happy about that,” muttered Gabriel.

Michael flashed him a pointed look. “It’s naïve to believe that they won’t be. But, we’re trying to mend decades of mistrust among our kind. Surely, you don’t want to start off our healing with more lies, Gabriel?”

The youngest archangel hung his head, looking guilty. “Of course not.”

“We will tell the angels that Jack is taking a leave of absence to rest and recuperate.” Michael paused and, here, he looked at Castiel, pinning him with a look that garnered obedience. “One year.”

Castiel blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

“We are giving Jack one year to do what he wishes. He can stay on Earth, go to school, whatever he wants. And, after a year, you and he will return here and resume your duties. He will be the Winchesters’ responsibility and you will act as his messenger, Castiel. We expect monthly reports on his health and how he’s coping. If he is, at any point at all, in danger, or his true nature is discovered, you will both return to Heaven, immediately.”

But, Castiel frowned. “A year… but, that’s-.”

“It is plenty of time. To my knowledge, humans spend at most ten months in school per year. Jack has an extra two months. That’s more than sufficient for him to experience how it is to be a human child.” To this, Gabriel’s gaze softened with sympathy. “We can’t be without God for too long, Castiel. You know this.”

As a soldier for many centuries, Castiel knew when a battle lost and it was time to retreat. So, he nodded.

“In the meantime, Jack’s duties will be divided among the three of us-.”

“Four of us,” Kelly interrupted. “Jack’s duties will be divided among the four of us.”

They all turned to her, the sole human soul among them. In the past year, while getting to know their new God’s mother, everyone saw how formidable of a woman Kelly Kline was. Lucifer may not have realized it when he impulsively chose her to bear his child but she was one of the reasons why Jack was the kind and gentle soul he was. He also had a bit of that fire and stubbornness Kelly was displaying to them now. She was not to be left behind when it came to helping her son.

Castiel suspected, a little, that although they respected her, the archangels may also be a little intimidated by Kelly.

“You sure?” Gabriel asked, brow furrowing. “It’s a lot of work and I don’t know if you-.”

“You’re all forgetting that before I got pregnant with Jack, I was the secretary to the President of the United States and, no, I did not get there by sleeping my way to the top.” She paused and her eyes dared them to contradict her. “And before that, I was a congressional aide. I was also the P.A. of a senator. Trust me, I know my way around politics.”

The archangels flashed each other looks before they turned their questioning faces to Castiel.

It was a well-known fact that he and Kelly were very good friends, considering she left her son in his care. If there was anyone else in Heaven who knew Kelly intimately aside from Jack, it was Castiel.

He smiled at his friend. “I’m sure Kelly will do a wonderful job.”

She beamed right back at him, full of trust and gratitude.

“Are we all in agreement then?” Michael asked, looking at each and every one of them in the room.

Kelly and Gabriel agreed, of course, as well as Castiel. When Michael’s gaze landed on Raphael, the latter appeared to hesitate, still looking unsure if this was a good plan.

“Brother, everything will be alright,” Michael reassured him. “We’ve run Heaven by ourselves before. We can do it again. And, this time, we have help.”

He flashed grateful looks at Gabriel and Kelly.

Finally, Raphael released a sigh. “Alright,” he acquiesced. “Let’s plan our next steps.”

They planned and deliberated for hours. Castiel wasn’t sure how long it took them to agree which responsibility was whose and how his monthly reports were to be done. They agreed on steps to ensure Jack’s safety on Earth and what emergencies would entail his immediate return to Heaven.

By the time they were done planning and delegating, Castiel had a long scroll of paper tucked into the pocket of his trenchcoat. It was to be given to Jack when Castiel returned to his side.

“Thank you, Castiel,” Kelly said to him as they filed out of the meeting room. Her arm encircled his as they walked down the hall together. “I wish it was me with Jack at this time.”

Sadness and longing emanated from the woman he had come to call his friend. She had been elated when Jack appeared in her heaven and had tried to make up for years of absence.

“I’ll take care of him, Kelly,” Castiel promised.

She smiled, laying her head on his shoulder, briefly. “I know you will.” She sighed. “I just… you know, I wish I could be there to shop with him for new clothes. And make his lunch. Ask him about girls… and boys. Maybe chaperone his first school dance and embarrass him in front of a new crush. Go to PTA meetings. Such mundane things. But, I wanted to do them for Jack.”

Castiel felt his lips twitch into a sad smile. “I’m sorry, Kelly. And Jack is sorry as well for suddenly leaving.”

She shrugged before letting out a low laugh. “Running away from home is a classic teen rebellion move. I’ve done it. Just goes to show he’s really my son.”

They paused at the gate. The sun shone brightly down on them as it always did. It was never nighttime in Heaven.

Kelly smiled up at him. “Just make sure he eats his vegetables, especially broccoli. And watch his sugar intake, he’ll get diabetes before he turns ten at the rate he's going with them.”

Castiel returned her smile, squeezed her close to his side before releasing her arm from his hold.

“I promise.” He stepped forward to kiss her forehead, affectionately.

Beaming as she gave his hand one last squeeze, Kelly turned on her heels and walked away, presumably to return to her own heaven. Castiel simply watched her back until she disappeared from his sight.

Letting out a loud sigh, Castiel spread his wings and was off. He had much work to do and arrangements to make before his temporary leave. First things first, he must meet with Balthazar, who was to take on Castiel's Heavenly duties while he was away.

Not for the first time, Castiel thanked the size and speed of his wings. He was anxious to return to Earth. To Jack. To Sam and Dean. To home.

* * *

On a normal day, Dean usually got around four hours of sleep. If he was lucky, six. If he was _really_ lucky, he got a full eight hours and that was a luxury. The years of staying in shitty motel rooms and potential threats waiting just outside the door weren’t conducive to healthy sleeping habits. But, he made do and it was fine. Really.

Sometimes, though, those four hours were interrupted by nightmares and it took him a while to get back to sleep. In the past year, the nightmares were all the same.

Death at their heels. The dark dungeon. A smiling Castiel covered in black goo.

Sometimes, Dean watched the scene from the outside looking in, watching his dream self break down on the dungeon floor. Other times, he was in that moment, tongue-tied and unable to do anything or stop the inevitable.

Alcohol usually did the trick to put him right back to sleep.

So, when Dean woke up gasping from another nightmare, his hand reached out to his bedside table for a bottle of beer or gin or whatever he managed to get his hands on that day. His fingers only met air and when Dean turned his head to look, he loudly groaned in disappointment to find nothing there. His bedside clock, however, boasted in bright red colors that it was only 4:15am. Yet, he was feeling wide awake.

Rubbing his eyes, Dean pushed the sheets away from his body. He slipped his feet into slippers, grabbed his robe from the foot of his bed, and ambled out of his room in search of alcohol. He made it close to the kitchen doors when he realized that the lights were on inside and crunching sounds echoed from within.

Weird.

He entered the kitchen and immediately spied their resident God, perched on the table, munching on cereal. It was the sugary kind that Sam often hid in the back of the pantry: _Crunch Cookie Crunch_. They had started buying it after Jack pointed it out at the store a couple of years ago, delighted by bear on the box and alliteration of the name. Sam only agreed to buy it if Jack promised to eat it in moderation.

“Jack?” Dean called out as he approached. “Why are you awake at four in the morning?”

The kid startled, looking guilty at being caught. “Um… I was hungry.”

Dean raised an eyebrow, skeptical. God didn’t need food or even sleep. Jack told them that both were merely habits now that he wasn’t keen on breaking – it made him feel normal.

Well, Dean figured it was no use grabbing beer now and just going back to bed. Might as well keep the kid company.

So, he grabbed himself a bowl from a cabinet and a spoon from a drawer before sitting across from Jack. He pointed at the cereal box.

“Can I have some?”

Jack shrugged and Dean grabbed it.

“It’s yours anyway,” said the boy as he watched him pour cereal into the bowl, followed by the milk. “Sam doesn’t eat this stuff.”

“Well, we know Sam has questionable tastes.”

That got a smile and a soft chuckle from the kid. “Do you remember that time you guys took me to the park and I wanted to try that fancy cotton candy?”

Dean remembered and laughed.

It had been a rare day off, months after they had just gotten back from Apocalypse World. Jack was moping around the bunker, bummed about losing his powers so Mary had pushed Sam and Dean to take him out. They ended up driving to the park and there was a guy there, selling cotton candy that he molded into various shapes, to the delight of the children watching him. Jack had immediately been hooked and begged Sam to get him one that was shaped like a duck. Sam then went on a lecture about the negative effects of sugar in one’s body and that a cotton candy that size would rot his teeth. Before he was even done talking, Dean had already paid the guy and Jack had returned home with his yellow and pink duck-shaped cotton candy. He showed it off to anyone in the bunker he came across before splitting the sugar monstrosity with Maggie and her friends. 

“I thought he was gonna have an aneurysm!”

Sam’s resting bitch face had magnified tenfold as he shook his head in disapproval at Dean.

“That was a good memory.” Jack turned back to his cereal, swirling the spoon in the chocolate-laden milk, absentmindedly. “I missed things like that. In Heaven, it’s… different. We can use our memories to re-create certain experiences. But… it’s not the same.”

Dean didn’t know what to say to that so he just grunted and began to eat his own cereal.

They did that in silence for a while, the clink of the spoons against the bowls and their munching the only sounds. Jack finished first and his hand hovered for a second or two over the box. Dean just flashed him a smirk, which the kid took to mean permission and poured himself more cereal.

“Um… Castiel left.” Jack finally broke the silence. He wasn’t looking at Dean, his gaze firmly on swirling the cookie bits. “He went back to Heaven to talk to the archangels.”

“I know.” Dean got up and headed for the fridge. He needed a drink. “Juice?”

“You know?” Jack replied, his brow furrowed in confusion. “And, yes, please.”

Dean grabbed the jug of _Tropicana_ and picked up two glasses from the dish rack before heading back to the table. He filled both glasses, almost to the brim, and pushed one to the kid. Jack took it gratefully and took a sip. Dean did the same and grimaced at the stringy texture on his tongue.

Sam bought the one with the pulp again. What a bitch.

“We talked before he left,” Dean said as he put his glass down and picked up his spoon again.

“Oh.”

“So… high school?”

Jack’s head shot up, panicked. “You… heard that?”

Dean hummed. “Not difficult since you guys left the door open and were practically shouting.”

“I…”

“I mean, I don’t get it. High school’s rough. You sure you can handle that? It’s not like how they make it in the movies, you know. There are bullies and homework and tests. Not fun.”

“I think it might be interesting,” Jack answered, swirling his spoon around the milk again.

He was silent for a few moments, contemplating. He got his thinking face on so Dean let him be.

“When Castiel comes back, we can leave.”

Dean froze, spoon filled with milk and cereal hovering in the air. “What?”

Jack continued to avoid his eyes. “I know I’ve overstayed my welcome and I promise when Cas gets back-.”

“Hey, hey, hey, hold your horses there, cowboy. What are you talking about? Leaving? Overstaying your welcome? Did you think we were gonna kick you out?”

The kid hung his head, his silence confirming his answer.

That rare prick of guilt made itself known to Dean, instantly. His mind went back to hours before, hearing the distressed voice bouncing off the walls of the Dean Cave.

_“Maybe Dean wouldn’t have hated me so much for causing your death and for Mary being trapped in that other world!”_

Dean knew he was a douchebag. There was no use denying it. He knew about his anger issues. He knew about his tendency to blame the people around him for everything that went wrong in his life. And he knew that he treated Jack like shit when all the kid wanted was his love and approval. His pride prompted him to plug his ears when Sam tried to tell him. He should have realized that no matter how many good memories he had shared with Jack, no matter how many times he called Jack his kid, he knew that his stupid anger had affected the way Jack saw himself in Dean’s life.

A bitter lump occupied his throat and Dean swallowed it. He looked down at the chocolate-y milk and cereal, no longer in the mood to finish it.

He didn’t want Jack and Castiel to go somewhere else. He wanted them right here where he could see them. He had lost them too many times to let them go now.

Chuck was powerless. Lucifer was dead. There were no more apocalypses or prophecies or any more of that bull. They were allies with the Queen of Hell, who was strangely fond of Dean’s brother.

Nothing was stopping them from giving Jack the life he clearly wanted. And wherever Jack was, Castiel would be there too.

Dean had to make things right.

He pushed the bowl of cereal to the side. “Hey… I’m sorry.”

Subtly, Jack’s expression changed, from looking like a kicked puppy to a confused puppy. His head even slightly tilted to the side, the same way Castiel’s often did. It made Dean smile a little.

“Oh,” the kid said. He raised his eyes, meekly. “What for?”

Dean steeled himself.

“For everything. For treating you like you were the enemy when you were just born. I mean, you lost your mom and Cas and I should have realized that you didn’t want either to happen, but I blamed you anyway. And I blamed you for… for mom. I put you in a Ma’lak box. Sam was worried and I should have listened to him. We should have tried harder. No. _I_ should have tried harder, Jack.”

“Dean, you don’t need to-.”

“I do.”

Dean had to or he would chicken out and never find the nerve to do this again. Jack deserved his honesty and his apology.

“I almost killed you, man. I played into Chuck’s games and I almost killed you.” His throat was tightening again and tears came unbidden to his eyes that he quickly wiped away. “You’re our kid… and I almost killed you.”

Jack had raised his head fully now, looking thunderstruck. His lips were parted, as if he wanted to say something but can’t figure out the words.

“And I’m sorry for that stupid, stupid plan of you taking Chuck’s powers.”

“It wasn’t stupid,” Jack protested, shaking his head. “It was needed. I would have done anything to save the world.”

“I know. That’s why we did it. But, we didn’t think about how heavy the responsibility would be on you.”

“You didn’t know it would make me God, Dean.”

Classic Jack. Always trying to justify Dean and Sam’s shitty plans.

“Still. It’s our fault you’re in the situation in the first place. We’re the adults so we take responsibility. So… So, if going to school and being a normal kid is what’s going to make you happy, then we’ll make damn sure you’ll get it, okay? Even if it means I have to drive you to school everyday and go to PTA meetings and bake cookies for a bake sale or something… anything. You can count on me. And, Sam, too. And I’m sure Cas will be with you every step of the way.”

“I…”

“Do you forgive me, Jack? Will you let me make it up to you?”

Jack’s eyes were shining and he was finally, _finally_ , smiling with his teeth showing and the corner of his lips practically up to his ears.

“Yes. Yes, of course, I forgive you, Dean. You’re… You raised me. And, I know, in your own way, you cared about me. I’m sorry, too. For everything.”

“Hey, we’ve all done some shitty things in this family. We’ve backstabbed each other more times than we can count. Sometimes, literally! Did you know I stabbed Cas the first time we met?”

Jack laughed. “Really?”

“Yeah! It was pretty funny, now that I’m looking back.” Dean shook his head, unable to fight the smile forcing itself out of him. “The point is that… we’ve all done shitty things to each other. And, in any other family, that’s probably enough to send someone running for the hills. But, not us. We forgive and we move on. Capiche?”

Jack nodded, eagerly. “I capiche.”

God, he really was Castiel’s son.

Just then, the sound of footsteps echoed against the walls. Both Dean and Jack turned their heads towards the door, right on time to see Sam shuffle in, a hand ruffling his hair as he yawned. (One of these days, Dean was gonna go through with his daily threat of cutting Sam’s hair off while he was asleep. Was he planning on beating Rapunzel for longest hair?!)

The younger Winchester didn’t seem to register that he had company, at first. He just sleepily ambled over to the coffee machine and mechanically filled it.

“Not going for a run this morning?” Dean asked.

Sam jumped, knocking over the packet of coffee grounds, spilling them on the floor. “Son of a… Dean!”

Dean laughed and across from him, Jack hid a giggle behind his hand.

Sam squinted at them. “Why are you two up so early?”

Dean pointed to their bowls. “Eating breakfast. Want some?”

When Sam spotted the box of _Crunch Cookie Crunch_ , his nose scrunched up in disgust. “I didn’t know we still had that. Did you know a bowl of that has more sugar than _Lucky Charms_?”

Defiantly, Dean stuck a spoonful of cereal into his mouth, making sure to maintain eye contact with his brother.

Sam rolled his eyes. “Jack, don’t eat more than one bowl, okay?”

Guiltily, Jack flashed Dean a look, shaking his head subtly.

Silly kid. Of course, Dean wouldn’t tell! They just had a chick flick moment! He wasn’t about to spill the beans on everything that happened.

“So, Sammy, no run today?” Dean smoothly changed the subject.

Sam had finished prepping the coffee machine and cleaning up the mess. He was now getting his own breakfast together. Some kind of wheat thing that Dean would never touch with a ten-foot pole.

“Nah, I think I’ll skip today.”

“A miracle!”

“Shut, up jerk!”

“Bitch!”

Sam rolled his eyes but Dean knew there was no malice behind it. This was how they worked as brothers, after all.

His breakfast prepared, Sam made his way to the table with his bowl and cup of coffee and sat down beside Jack.

“So, what were you two talking about?”

“School!” Jack piped, perkily. “Dean was telling me that he would drive me and go to PTA meetings.”

Shoving more cereal into his mouth, Dean couldn’t meet Sam’s eyes but he just knew his brother was judging him.

“Did he now?”

“Oh, right, you don’t know about that.”

Sam coughed. “Uh… I kinda do. We heard you last night.”

“Oh. Right. I guess I was pretty loud.”

“It’s fine, Jack. I think it’s great that you want to go to school. Learning new things and making friends. Plus, you get to participate in a lot of activities. Um, arts, sports, even science.”

“Nerd alert,” Dean coughed.

Sam glared at him before turning back to Jack. “As I was saying, if you have a hobby or a subject or sport you’re interested in, most likely, a school will offer it as an activity.”

“That sounds… wonderful,” Jack said, almost reverently. “What did you do while you were in school, Sam?”

“Oh, uh, it depended on the school. You know, we moved around a lot so it was impossible to be in any sort of sports team. But, I was in the science club a few times. Even did theater.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Dean went to a couple of my plays.”

Jack now turned to the older Winchester, definitely interested. “What about you, Dean?”

“Pfft, I wasn’t into that nerd stuff-.”

“Weren’t you in the Robotics club while we were in Sacramento?” Sam interjected, smirking.

“It was for a month! And we didn’t really do anything-.”

“Didn’t you design the robot?”

“Shut up, Sammy!”

“Robotics club?” Jack questioned, his head cocked to the side. “You made robots?”

“If we had stayed longer in Sacramento back then, Dean would have probably participated in the regional competition," Sam continued, something like pride in his tone.

“It wasn’t a big deal, okay?” Dean mumbled, fighting a blush as he shoved another spoon into his mouth and chewed aggressively.

He joined the Robotics club because the teacher was hot and he had a crush on her. Go big or go home, right? He didn’t think he would actually like it. And he learned from the other kids. But, it wasn’t like it lasted long. After a month, Dad came back and they had to take off again.

“Dean did sports too!”

Why won't Sam just shut up?!

“Really?” Jack was practically vibrating as he gazed at Dean, waiting to hear more.

Sighing and giving in, Dean put his spoon down and managed a smile. “I was in the Wrestling team when I was living at a boys’ home for about two months. And I was also pretty decent at baseball.”

“Mom said she was in the softball team when she was a teenager,” said Jack, excitedly. “She tells me a lot of stories about her childhood. She had a horse for a little while!”

It was the first time since he arrived that he mentioned Kelly. Of course, they knew that the kid had reunited with his mother in Heaven but to hear about it first hand was… quite touching.

“I… kind of miss her,” Jack admitted, deflating a little. “I hope she’s not mad at me.”

Sam placed a hand on the kid’s shoulder. “I’m sure she only wants what’s best for you. So, whatever they decide, we got your back, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you.”

Well, as much fun as all this deep talk and touching moment is, Dean was ready to move on.

So, he cleared his throat and clapped his hand. “Let’s do something fun today! Sammy, check the weather. If it’s sunny out, there’s no use staying in.”

He stuffed the last spoon of cereal into his mouth, drank the milk straight out of the bowl, and stood up. He went to put the dirty dishes in the sink and fixed himself a cup of coffee.

“What should we do?” Jack asked, excitedly.

"If it's nice out, we can head to the park?” Sam suggested.

Dean cradled his coffee close to his chest. “Park sounds good. It’s still pretty early so we’ll head out in a few hours. Gotta wait for Miracle to wake up and feed him, too.”

He made his way to the door.

“Where are you going?” Sam called out after him.

“I’m gonna grab some stuff from storage.”

And with that, Dean left the room, feeling lighter than he did when he woke up.

He was determined to make this a good day for all of them. He just wished Castiel would return by the time they had to leave, but he wasn’t holding his breath. As long as the angel came back, Dean was gonna wait for him.

* * *

The sun was bright and high in the sky but there were a couple of clouds hanging around. For a summer day, it wasn’t uncomfortable. And, it seemed like they weren’t the only ones who had the bright idea of spending the day at the park. There were kids running around. Dogs were being walked by their owners and a couple of them hung around on the grass. Miracle was having the time of his life playing with these other dogs and chasing squirrels together.

Sam watched him carefully from his perch at an empty picnic table, ensuring that he wasn’t gonna wander off or get dognapped. It seemed like he was doing alright and Dean had him chipped, anyway.

Tearing his eyes away from the dog, Sam scanned the grass. He found his brother yelling instructions at Jack, who had a baseball glove in one hand and a ball in the other. Dean, too, was wearing a glove. Sam watched as Jack threw the ball. It fell on the grass, a few inches from Dean, who picked it up.

Sam had been surprised that Dean even knew about the sports equipment tucked away in the bunker’s storage room. Just hours earlier, his brother had emerged from the basement with a box filled to the brim with baseball gloves, bats, and balls. He had taken the gloves and the balls with them to the park so he could teach Jack how to play catch.

“Next time, we’ll go to a batting cage and I’ll teach you how to bat,” Dean had promised Jack in the car.

It was good to see Jack happier and much more relaxed than he was when he first arrived. Sam and Dean didn’t mean to eavesdrop on him and Castiel last night, but they couldn’t help it. Jack watching those teenagers discuss the upcoming school year and then asking Sam about high school made perfect sense now. And he couldn’t blame him for it.

Jack never had a childhood. And he deserved it, now.

Dean, too, seemed better. Lighter. Happier. As if a giant weight had been lifted from his shoulders. And Sam didn’t find him passed out surrounded by beer bottles that morning. It was a big win.

His phone ringing interrupted Sam’s train of thoughts. Seeing “Eileen” flash on the screen immediately prompted a smile to appear on his face.

“Hey!” He waved at the screen.

“Hi, Sam!” Eileen waved back.

She appeared to be in her car, not driving obviously, but clearly prepared to go somewhere.

Dean would make fun of Sam for thinking this but seeing Eileen, even if it was through a phone screen, still made his heart stutter with joy. He came so close to losing her and he would be damned if he let her go. She was it for him.

“Are you heading somewhere?” he asked her, signing with one hand the best he could.

“Yeah.” She flashed him a curious look. “Where are you?”

“At the park. Dean wanted to take Jack out for the day and the weather was good so… here we are!”

“That’s awesome. Is Jack doing okay?”

“Yeah. Hold on, I’ll show you.” Sam tapped the camera’s icon to turn it around so he could point the phone at Dean and Jack. “Hey, guys! Say ‘hi’ to Eileen!”

Dean and Sam paused their game to turn towards him and wave at the phone.

Eileen laughed. “They look happy!”

Sam turned the camera back to himself. “Yeah, it’s been a pretty good day. I mean, wow, we rarely get one of those you know. It’s… nice.”

Eileen flashed him a teasing look. “It sounds like you’re not used to your downtime.”

“Yeah, I mean… I can’t force Dean to go out and hunt, especially right now. Pretty sure he’s waiting until Cas actually gets back but we don’t know when that is, exactly.”

“So… have you talked to Dean, yet?”

Sam pressed his lips into a thin line. “No, not yet. But, I will. Soon. Just… I need the right timing. He just got Cas back and… I don’t wanna overwhelm him, you know? I’m sorry, I hope you understand.”

Eileen’s face fell but she tried to cover it up with a small smile. Sam hated it when Eileen was upset.

“Hey, I’ll talk to him, don’t worry. We’ve been planning for months and I’m not backing out or changing my mind, okay?”

For a second, Eileen was silent, as if trying to read his mind. Then, she nodded. “Okay.” She pressed her lips together before breaking into a smile, “So, I’m going to Colorado for a case.”

The change in subject was abrupt but it made Sam sit up. “Yeah? What do you got?”

“So, for the past two weeks, some local prostitutes have been going missing in a town called Trinidad. Their bodies were found days later, with their hearts ripped out and chunks of flesh missing.”

“So… werewolf?” Sam guessed.

Eileen nodded. “That’s what I think, too. It’s sloppy. All the victims are from the same brothel. And it didn’t even bother hiding the bodies, just left them out in the open. This is probably just a milk run but… do you want to come with me? I can be in Lebanon by tomorrow night to pick you up.”

Sam had to pause for a second to contemplate.

He was reluctant to leave Dean alone. But, then again, Dean wasn’t alone. Jack was there. And maybe Castiel would be back soon. Right? And it had been a while. And he missed Eileen so much.

So, he nodded. “Yeah, I’m down.”

Eileen’s smile grew wider and her signing got excited. “Great! I’ll see you then!” She bit her lip before signing, “I love you.”

Sam’s chest practically bloomed with warmth as he heard and watched those words form. They had said it to each other for the first time around a year ago, when Sam went to see her after the whole debacle with Chuck. They had been ending their phone calls and texts with those words ever since. And Sam never got tired of it.

He signed back, “I love you, too.”

Eileen blew him a kiss and waved before hanging up.

Still smiling, Sam turned his head to see how Miracle was doing. The dog was engrossed in a game of chase the tail with another dog. He turned his head to look for Dean and Jack. The latter seemed to have gotten better at throwing. The ball was actually reaching Dean this time.

Sam never thought they’d ever have a day like this. Just him, basking under the sun. Dean and Jack playing catch. Miracle running around.

It was nice. He hoped Castiel could join them next time. Maybe at those batting cages Dean mentioned. It would be funny to see the angel attempt to play baseball.

Well, since everyone was engrossed, Sam decided to do a little research.

He pulled up a browser on his phone and typed: High schools in Lebanon, Kansas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled with the vessels part here but “Supernatural” keeps changing their own lore anyway so... might as well roll with it.


End file.
